Halfway Season Summary: Oh Shit

Boston (INEPT) - The season is half over. The Hatriots, in the worst of all possible nightmares, are undefeated. No game has been close. Tom 'Fraidy has 30 touchdown passes and is not spending too much time chasing supermodels. Randy Moss is keeping his pants on and not running over police officers. Belichoke is angry that everyone thinks he is a cheater (even though he clearly is) but somehow is using it to his advantage. We, as the staff here at INEPT, have only one thing to say: Oh Shit.


Oh Shit

People from around the league had similar responses:

• Eric Boygenius, head coach of the New York Letdowns: "Oh shit. Do we have to play them again? Man, that's going to be like 105-0. Crap."
• Randall Godfrey, linebacker of the Washington Not-good-enough-to-be-named-after-mighty-native-american-warriors-even-though-that-would-be-less-offensive-to-some-people: "I told Belichoke to show some respect. So he did, by throwing another 80-yard bomb for a touchdown. Oh man, who doesn't respect touchdowns?"
• Coach Bill Belichoke: "Up yours Roger F-ing Goodell."

However, there is hope on the horizon. The Hatriots' schedule tells us that Blitzburgh is coming to town in a few weeks. A visit to an actual football team from New York (i.e., not the Letdowns but the mighty Giants) in the last week of the season might present an opportunity for true anti-Hatriot happiness.

And, lest we forget, there is one other team we might pay attention to. That team has played under the radar this year, a little odd for a Super Bowl Champion. They too are undefeated. They are the mighty Indianapolis Colts. Last time we checked, they have a little bit of a winning streak against the Hatriots. This Sunday, we will see if they keep that winning streak alive. We will see if King Manning and his charges can end this season of non-defeat. We will see how the morality play of good versus evil pans out.

So Haters, one and all, for this upcoming weekend, put on your blue and white Hatred Tees and sing Blue Sunday loud and clear. Stick pins in your Hatriots dolls. Sit in your lucky chair. Do your part, and maybe the Colts will do theirs. And maybe, just maybe, this nightmare season of non-defeat will come to an end.


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