Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The Fall of Rome: AFC Championship Prediction

Ann Arbor (INEPT) - Empires rise. And empires fall. Consider the Roman Empire. Long-lasting, dominant (if lucky), innovative in the realm of sanitation, and eventually, bloated and corpulent, ready to be thrown down. Yes, Hatriot fans, Rome fell. As Thomas Cahill describes in his book:

The citizens of Rome, therefore, could not believe it when toward the end of the first decade of the fifth century, they woke to find Alaric, king of the Visigoths, and all his forces parked at their gates. He might as well have been king of the Fuzzy-Wuzzies, or any of the other inconsequential outlanders that civilized people have looked down their noses at throughout history. It was preposterous. They dispatched a pair of envoys to conduct the tiresome negotiation and send him away. The envoys began with empty threats: any attack on Rome was doomed, for it would be met by invincible strength and innumerable ranks of warriors.


An Overconfident Envoy

Alaric was a sharp man, and in his rough fashion, a just one. He also had a sense of humor. "The thicker the grass, the more easily scythed," he replied evenly.

The envoys quickly recognized that their man was no fool. All right, then, what was the price of his departure? Alaric told them: his men would sweep through the city, taking all gold, all silver, and everything of value that could be moved. They would also round up and cart off every barbarian slave.


Alaric at the Gates

But, protested the hysterical envoys, what will that leave us?

Alaric paused. "Your lives."

In that pause, Roman security died and a new world was conceived.


To all citizens of Rome (Hatriot Fans): that day has come. Alaric is at your gates. The fall of Rome is upon us.

Game Prediction: Colts 38, Hatriots 17.

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19 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok buddy do all the talking you want u make all these post on the pats and how lucky they are, and the fact of the matter is that they continue to win. Luck is not somehting that brings you 3 or more superbowls in 6 years or less. So shut the fuck up and shut this website down its a complete joke!!

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

once again, why do pats fans come here....just go to a fan site or something....well, I hope that score will be exactly accurate

8:09 PM  
Blogger Hater in Chief said...

Dear Anonymous (#2),

We really don't mind the average Hatriot fan coming to this site. The only unusual thing about them is their tendency towards vulgarity (see Anonymous #1 for an example). They sure seem like an angry bunch!

- The INEPT Staff

p.s. to Anon #1 above, we are probably not going to shut the site down, despite your strongly worded letter.

1:16 AM  
Blogger Rick D said...

Hate the Patriots all you want, we will see who's wearing the SuperBowl Ring very soon. #4 a great number!

4:16 AM  
Anonymous Packer Shareholder said...

Dear Hatriot Fans,

Talk all you want about "4 rings". That is pathetic compared to the TWELVE world championships won by the Green Bay Packers.

Sincerely,

Shareholder of the Packers

7:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We only go on this site cause we can't believe people don't like the Patriots. How could you not respect a team that are underdogs every week and continue to win? Is it because they don't have a bunch of thugs on the team or because they play as a team and have respect for eachother? I think it's because of jealousy in that your teams aren't led by Brady and Belicheck. Anyway my prediction is its going to be a blow out.....again. Patriots 27 Colts 10 See you at the parade in February......again

7:54 AM  
Anonymous Josh Howard said...

To the INEPT Staff:

I believe in you…Your Pats/Rome comparison is right on the money. If the Colts are victorious 38-17 on Sunday night, I will finally be able to relax and enjoy football again.
I haven’t had that feeling since Denver’s dismantling of New England last season. I still remember celebrating late into the Seattle night after watching the Broncos defense bend Brady over, have their way with him and cap it off by smoking a pleasure cigarette as Tommy Girl laid their motionless in his stained panties.

In all honesty I do owe this site a great deal of admiration. It has been my safe haven away from the Patriot-induced hell that is Connecticut. I can only hope that you keep this site going long into the future even after the Patriots descend into an eventual football abyss. Long live the INEPT staff and long live the Patriot abomination. Go Colts.

On a side note…I love the Patriot fans that visit and post on this web site. Each and every post is an added reminder of how much hatred I hold towards the franchise. Keep posting with your hurtful words and bitter anger- it just inspires me more.

8:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a pats fan, I've been honestly surprised at the amount of hatred directed at my beloved team by people all around the country. In a league where a salary cap/player turnover are supposed to dictate parity, it should be celebrated that the pats have been able to sustain such a long run at the top.

With Brady and Coach B at the helm, this site will probably continue to grow in popularity, at the Pats will probably avance deep into the postseason for the next 4-5 years.

Having said that, I'm hoping that it's not too cold for this year's parade...

Pats 31
Colts 17

8:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, to the average Bostonian who wonders why the Patriots are hated...though I am sure this will be over your head.

If a team is better than another team, it should win most of the time...but the underdog will win, maybe up to 40% of the time. Sometimes the underdog can play great, sometimes the better team will have a weak game, sometimes the underdog can attack the better team's Achilles heel. And then there is pure dumb luck.

The Patriots are hated because they win through Pure Dumb Luck. Are they good? Sure, they are better than most. But they aren't great. The Chargers, Ravens, and Indy all are better teams than the Pats this year, and the Saints or Bears might NFC teams better than them. Teams they've beaten in the Super Bowl? All superior teams that had offenses that didn't show up until sometime midway into the second half of each game. If the Panthers, Rams, or Eagles had showed up a little earlier in any of those games, they win.

This year it is a few fluke plays, including (especially) that fourth down interception/fumble fiasco and one of the elite teams stumbles over the Patriots.

I personally had to put up with living in Boston and watching those idiots win year after year.
Along the way, picking up guys like Rodney Harrison (dirtiest thug in football, has been for years, I hated him in San Diego, and that's where I'm from)...

My greatest hope would be comeuppance, the table being turned. Peyton shredding the Patsies, or more hopefully the Patriot screw ups actually leading them to lose for once.

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did anyone watch Peyton Manning's performance on Sat. Terrible. How many picks has he thrown in the post season. Has it been 5 or 6? Do any of you remember the absolute dismantling of the Colts in the post season over the past few years? You questioned whether the Chargers could pull out a W, but you have no doubts about Peyton "I Suck When it Counts" Manning? COME ON PEOPLE!! I won't even predict an outcome. I don't know who will win. But I have faith in the Pats. A die-hard fan ... forever, regardless what happens. And I visit this site because I can't begin to understand how people can have such negative feelings about a FOOTBALL team. I came across it looking for expert picks one day (most of them wrongly picking against the "Lucky Pats" per usual.) And I find it so humorous that people can feel such anger and resentment just because a team has dominated football for the better half of a decade. I suggest directing some of your hostility towards Bush and his war, or the pathetic state our education system is in, or perhaps the damage that we all continue to do our enviroment. Afterall, those are WORTHY things to being angry about. Ohhh ... and ...
GO PATS! Let's make these HATRIOTS even angrier! WHO HOOOOOO!!! Let's throw another ring on "Brady's incapable hand!" WHOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!! #4 baby! Lets really give every Pat hater something to whine about!!! Let's be SUPER BOWL BOUND!!!!

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lucky???? How many times can you get lucky? So the 21 game win streak they had was pure luck? So it has nothing to do with out coaching, being more physical, being more prepared then the other teams. No they win cause they are "lucky." Nevermind the fact that they draft well, pick up free agents who contribute to the team, and spend their money to have a well balanced team instead. Nope none of that, they are purely lucky. They won three superbowls on pure, and won 48 games vs 9 losses in those years on pure luck. WOW!!! I'm glad to see the top notch education system is working in CA. I can't wait to read this site this Monday, and the Monday after the Superbowl when the Pats win for the 4th time in 6 years.

5:55 AM  
Anonymous Respectful Pats Fan said...

I am a Pats fan, andI come to this site because I enjoy seeing the views of non Pats fans. It think it is ridicoulous that some of you believe that Pats win on luck. Luck cannot carry a team to 21 straight wins and 3 superbowls. Also, you say Brady wins because he has the better team than Manning, but really, the Pats only have one pro bowler. Despite, my different opinions I do enjoy this site. Just wondering, is the staff of INEPT colts fans, or what team do they follow?

Pats- 31
Colts- 27

9:15 AM  
Blogger Hater in Chief said...

Dear Respectful Fan,

It is a pleasure to have you! We are happy to hear from a "Pats" fan (dare I say it), especially one with a thoughtful comment (e.g., no swearing or threats).

As for our own fandom, no, we are not Colts fans. We are fans with only a single purpose, a lone motivating goal: to see the Hatriots lose, and lose big.

- The INEPT Staff

10:39 AM  
Anonymous jackie said...

my brother came across this site when he had been looking for a patriots fan site. When I was saw this I was honestly in shock.
Whoever created this website has absolutely no life. They dedicate their time to rip apart a team who is a great team and wins superbowls. The Patriots are a respectable and amazing team. Theyre truly winners. But you sickos are so jealous you make a website aboutit. When I read this website i knew i must say something honestly do something better with your time. FUCK YOURSELF YOU DEUTSHE.

ALSO SERIOUSLY STOP HATING ON TOM, HES A AMAZING QUARTERBACK, GORGEOUS, HAS A SUPERMODEL GIRLFRIEND AND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. AND SOMETHING YOU DEFIENTLY LACK OF.. CLASS
HES OBVIOUSLY DOING SOMETHNIG RIGHT!





GO PATRIOTS

4:53 PM  
Anonymous tiblo said...

hmm HATRIOTS GO FUCK YOURSELVES. SERIOUSLY YOUR SO FUCKING GAY POSTING THIS SHIT ISNT GONNA MAKE THE PATS LOOSE, THEY'RE GOING TO OWN YOU ASSHOLES. SO HONESTLY SHUT THE FUCL UP AND GO TRY COLLECTING ROCKS AS A NEW HOBBY, ITS HONESTLY A BETTER WAY OF USING YOUR TIMEEE


GO PATRIOTS
HATRIOTS FUCK YYOU

5:00 PM  
Anonymous Josh Howard said...

To the past two post,

Good use of caps lock. It really emphasized your points. Next time, throw a few more exclamation points and profane words.

On a side note: HOW ‘BOUT THEM PATS!!!!!!!!

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi
you haters are poor
trash
i bet you are homeless and all you have is a laptop which you spent your last few cents on so you got your little shithole house taken away from you.

do you have friends?
or a life?
are you even good at football?
go get an education and do something with your life you little low life poor boy hicks.

5:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha u suck kuz u hate the pats hahahahahaha get a life

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the patriots suck.they have all that talent and they had to cheat to beat teams that would give them hard time. belidick sucked when he coached the browns. the nfl covered up alot of shit that the pats did. they do not want a black mark on the nfl and admit the pats ate there cheaties to win.they may have got three bardi trophies but they will always be ??? marks on there victories!!!!!!!!

3:19 PM  

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