Friday, January 19, 2007

Top Five Reasons Hatriots Will Lose Sunday

#5 - Tom Gets A Life: Tom 'Fraidy is spending too much time on his "life", and not "football". Look at his playoff numbers to understand the effect -- not too hot. Most recent example: moving on from Bridget to a Giselle.

Giselle: "At least I'm hot (during the playoffs)"

#4 - Hard To Keep Playing The Underdog: Even Hatriots fan and ESPN guy Bill Simmons gets it (see this article for details): when they keep winning, they can't keep pretending they are not getting any respect. Good quote from the article: "An entire generation of fledgling NFL fans is being raised to root against them as we speak." Yes, Bill, we do!

Simmons: "I get it, you hate us"

#3 - Peyton Is Due: Seriously, life cannot be that cruel. So many big games, so many disappointments. A great QB, but no rings. The only one rooting against him: Dan Marino. And Jim Kelly. Oh yes, Dan Fouts. And Fran Tarkenton. And ...

Peyton: Don't join this HOF crew

#2 - Adam, Vinny, Terry: This three-named kicker used to be our biggest fear. Now, he is our best friend. Come on guys, kick some field goals!

Three great kickers, finally on our side

#1 - It Is Time: Rafiki said it best: "it is time". It just is. This has gone on long enough. We cannot take two more weeks of this. Even the Roman Empire fell. Please end it. Please!

Rafiki says: It is time

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Anonymous Sully said...

Here's a nice little song from a band called Wack Ass Egyptians that sums up The Patriots!

And a video from Meat Depressed


12:34 PM  
Anonymous Josh Howard said...

Man- that Bill Simmons can sure doodle a lot of words onto paper. Talk about a ‘homer’. At some point in his article I was hoping he was going to make a point. However, in the end he was just like every other Patriot fan…Extremely bitter, even in success. It always amazes me that the New England organization and its fans can be so angered about not getting respect from their peers. How about you try respecting yourselves and stop pretending to be someone that you aren’t? It is not coincidental that every coach or player that leaves or is excused from the organization is resentful and departs on bad terms. The organization is ‘classless’ and eventually it will began to catch up with Bob Kraft and Bill Belichick. They have burned way too many bridges over the past six years and as soon as this franchise struggles, nobody will give a damn. As a matter of fact- people will rejoice. Maybe this is the reason so many New Englanders are so cynical.

As for the INEPT Staff’s five reason…Yes to all of them. A Colts win would be like an Iced-Venti Peppermint Mocha with whip from Starbucks on a humid Florida afternoon. In other words, if Manning can somehow shake the demons of the past- I would be euphoric.

Owed to Pats-Fan: Even if New England is victorious on Sunday- it will mean nothing. You will always be known as the franchise that was very good, but not great. I know that this notion frustrates you to no end, but you better learn to deal with it, because it will never change. A loss, on the other hand, would be detrimental to your self-labeled legacy and would burn at your greedy and tainted souls.

1:09 PM  
Blogger Darren said...

the Patriots are not the "Yankees of football" - what makes the Yankees so unlikable is that they pay the most money for the talent they get and keep winning. Patriots players turn DOWN bigger money offers to stay in New England because it's a good coaching staff and a supportive atmosphere.

As far as Indy is concerned - they are choakers. I don't intend it to be mean, it's simply the truth. How can you have that much talent year after year and never even GET to the Superbowl more so WIN it?

2:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do have to agree that the Pats are not the Yankees of football. The salary cap prevents there being a Yankees of football, though the early-90s 49ers came dangerously close by cap-cheating, but they have since subsequently imploded and are rebuilding.

Again, I will go back to my point, that they have relied an awful lot on luck to get to where they got's a bit of support to this, from none other than your favorite Tom, Pats fans.

SI, 1/22/07 page 42
A friend of Tom Brady's to him after the Patriot/Charger fiasco - "You had no business winning that game, no business!"

Tom- "I know, I know."

The reason the Pats are so damn irritating is because this kind of thing just keeps happening. (Anybody remember that wierd fumble play against the Raiders?)

Are they good? Sure. They just have no right to win this often. Every year there is some team better than them that trips over its own feat, and then the Pats hop on over them. The fact that that their idiot fans seem to think that this makes them dynastically great makes it 10x worse.

If the Pats had won a few Super Bowls over a decade...sure that seems about right, they ARE good.
But this year the Chargers were better. The list of teams that have suffered a similar fate over the years is long: Indy (more than once), Pittsburgh (again, more than once), the Rams, the Raiders (I swear the officials got a cut for that fumble play call).

So, oh dear Bostonians, get over the fact that nobody likes your team, and get over the fact that your city isn't the bustling metropolis that NYC is. I lived in Boston long enough to know how bitter of a place you truly live in, and understand the issue at its heart. Its an inferiority complex, pure and simple. Do yourself a favor, and get over it.

10:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why don't you all stop hating on the pats? tom brady not good in the playoffs? how do you win THREE superbowls if you aren't good? yeah, manning has good stats but what he does not have is a ring. not even one and tom has 3 and peyton's even been playing longer than tom. i'd prefer the rings to the stats! maybe he should stop making dumbass commercials and do his REAL job. clearly the chargers are not better-they are all sitting their asses at home and the pats are still playing!! and to the dude who told pats fans/boston residents to get over it-YOU GET OVER IT! AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO HATES THE PATS OUT OF PURE JEALOUSY!!!!
ps-and tom is waaaaay hotter than peyton!

8:11 PM  
Anonymous PackFan said...

Brady has shown he is a better playoff QB. But I think it is interesting to compare who would be a better QB on a non-playoff team.

You put Manning in a 1-15 team, he will immediately make a difference and drastically improve the team.

You put Brady in a 1-15 team, I don't think he can carry the team like Manning would.

Thats the difference between Manning and Brady.

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Patriot Fans,
Don't even listen..These low lifes are just jealous because of the three rings we have. Oh yes and where are the Packers? At home watching the game today? Spread the cheer 4 out of 6..GO PATS!!!
And one final word: RINGS.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Andy said...

Something needs to be said: there is no luck in football.

Funny-sounding, but there isn't. There is only good playing, and bad playing.

Don't say the pats are lucky because the other team fumbled the ball or whatever. That isn't luck, its the other team sucking.

This site is devoted to degradation rather than improvement. It was made by cowards who do not have the simple capacity to cheer for their own team and wish THEM the best; rather they choose to insult a greater team to improve their own self esteem.

The Patriots are lucky?

Don't make me laugh.

Go home and cry, losers, the Patriots are in the AFC Division Championship, and there's nothing you can do about it. Swear all you want, its not going to change.

9:55 AM  
Anonymous PackFan said...

Yes, we are sitting at home watching the playoffs. Thats ok, I'll just pop in a tape of SuperBowl 31.

World Championships:

Patriots: 3
Packers: 12

Plus you have to bend over to Bob Kraft where as I'm a partial owner of the Packers.

Packers: Superior Franchise

2:23 PM  
Blogger Patriotsuck said...


6:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Finally. It is a time to rejoice.

Really, does anything more need to be said?

7:34 PM  
Blogger Conrail said...

Hey Brady, I'm open...oh wait you're throwing an interception-hahahahahha

If I met Tom Brady I would spit in his face! NO BULLSHIT CALL TO SAVE YOU TODAY BRADY- You know you fumbled in the Snow Job...and today you straight shit the bed!!! Moo Hoo Hahahha BURN IN HELL!

7:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brady was LUCKY he was practicing his reach around motion in the snow his gay partner ref could hook him up with a bullshit call...regardless of how that rule reads, that was a fumble. Any fan of football would want that to be a fumble. If it happened to my team, I would say yeah we got lucky, that should be a fumble. But not the ol Pat's fans, instead they want to suck Brady off. If when you are sacking the QB he relaxes his arm forward and loses the ball, it's not a fumble....ahahha that's a shitty rule if you ask me. In solid grid iron hitting football, that's a fumble- Case Closed. I mean is he throwing the ball to the ground? I hope somebody will post a reply that says well it was the correct call according the rules. I mean the rules and laws of some countries allow sex between a 70yr old man and a 13yr old girl to be legal? Rules are not always right, and that is clearly a case where it should be changed.....have a nice day!

8:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

patriots finally got what they deserve. They are OVERATED and have been nothing but lucky. Well they're luck has run the fuck out.
anybody that says patriots rule is an idiot, they werent in the Super Bowl last year and they aint gonna be in it this year..

so go ahead hate on us for being right when we says PATRIOTS SUCK!!

ps i doubt many pats fans will talk now

9:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a Pats fan ... and I'll talk. The Pats beat themselves yesterday. I guess they ran "out of luck." Although, I am sure a lot of Colts fans--like my Dad-- would prefer that you Hatriots just admit that the Colts won the game outright. And forget all this luck/fall of Rome B.S. However, it definitely seems as if you guys do one thing right on this site. With all the ramblings of luck, references to Brady's sexuality, poor grammar, foul language, and such you do on thing very well: You make Patriots fans look like the most intelligent lot out there. So thanks. We'll see you next year. Cheers to the Colts in their first SB appearance in 20 years! The Pats have enough rings ... for now. Peace.

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Piss on that shit! We keep it Gully in here. Go on and take your nice guy shit and sit next to your Patriotic nice guy George Bush, cuz us true patriot haters keep it fucking real! I'd rather lose with some real bad boys then win with some prep pussies! Put your rings on bradys cock and start working it with a slow twist, if you're lucky Brady will show you what he learned from the Tuck Rule!

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, the Patriots fans are SOOO intelligent and classy that they threw rocks at Jack Del Rio last year. Yeah, nothing says "class" more than hurling rocks at a team that you are beating senseless.

2:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All of you people who hate the Pats must have got dropped on their heads whaen they were a baby. Any one who knows anything loves the three-time-Super Bowl Champion New England PATRIOTS. They are the best thing that happened to mand- kind and you idiots just can't deal with it. So I think that all of you PATRIOT haters should go visit a doctor on your concussion and go get a life because we all know you don't have one. And how could anyone say that peyton manning is better than Tom Brady , he is the man, if you knew anything you would love him to!!! GO PATRIOTS!!!!!!!!

10:52 AM  
Anonymous one of many brady lovers said...

Tom Brady is the man!!!! And we love him so much because he is so hot, sexy, and just so adorable. I<3333 Mr.Brady so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck all you Pats bandwagon fans. Get a life like everyone else.

9:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only 3 rings??? Who has 5?! I pray for a rematch of the '05 Afc game...and we seriously bury Brady. Bring it oNN!!

4:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

New England Patriots fan here and yes we just beat the colt 24-20 and that are 8 win and only lost the ball 2 time like you guys did and plus got more penalty then the colt did and still won. and yes thoose 3 penalty call was not right but we can play, because we know we going to win. and those other penalty call we just laugh and fix are mistake. So all thoose hate the Patriots should know now the we are going all the why? NUMBER ONE TEAM IN THE NFL BABY!!!!

7:08 PM  

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