Friday, February 01, 2008

SuperBore Preview: Final Press Roundup

From the incomparable New York Post:
The Patriots are suffering from premature exhilaration. The arrogant New England team has already applied for trademarks on "19-0" and "19-0 The Perfect Season." Three days before they beat the San Diego Chargers, and more than two weeks before Super Bowl XLII, the team egotistically filed paperwork with the US Patent and Trademark Office to cash in on sales of T-shirts, caps, posters and all kinds of Pats paraphernalia.

How humble. In honor of the Patriots, we decided to trademark a few other slogans. "19-0: But We Cheat", "19-0: We put the Ass in Asterisk", and "19-0: What we would have been if the f***ing Giants hadn't beaten us." The clever New York Post already paid $375 to trademark the best one of all: "18-1".



18-1 T-Shirts: Click here to buy one! Royalties to the NY Post?

Gregg Doyel of CBS Sportsline wants both teams to lose:
Seriously. If ever there was a Super Bowl in dire need of a double defeat, it's this one. New England and New York. Boston and Manhattan. The two whiniest, most arrogant, least likeable cities in America. The bad news is that one of them will win the Super Bowl. The good news? One of them will lose.

I don't like the Patriots. Not much about them, anyway. They have an igneous rock for a coach who doesn't chortle but does cheat. After both playoff games this year an opposing player accused a different Patriot of playing dirty. Rodney Harrison is an NFL-convicted drug cheat. But I do like Tom Brady. He's inhuman, and I respect that.

As much as we like the upstart Giants, double defeat would be fine by us.


Headlines after the double loss (use this to make your own!)

Turns out that SpyGate might be still alive. Our new favorite Senator, Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, is asking why Goodell destroyed the tapes:
"I am very concerned about the underlying facts on the taping, the reasons for the judgment on the limited penalties and, most of all, on the inexplicable destruction of the tapes," said Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., in a Thursday letter to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

Specter, the top Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee, said the matter could put the league's antitrust exemption at risk.



Arlen Specter, Hero

Why might have Goodell destroyed the tapes? Perhaps because he knew they would leak. And perhaps, when people saw them, they would be amazed by the extent of Belichick's cheating. Perhaps.

SI has their predictions for the game available. Most people picking in the way you would think. Unfortunately, one of the few guys picking the Giants is a writer named "Damon Hack." Somehow, we don't think this bodes well. Hack says:
Something about Tom Brady's ankle makes me nervous.

Is it the fact, Damon, that his ankle looks like this?


Brady's Ankles: They scare Hack, and the rest of us

Finally, Jim Trotter tells us about some curious traditions in the Patriot locker room.
Quarterback Tom Brady was having a tough afternoon. Through three quarters of the AFC Championship Game on Jan. 20, he had thrown more interceptions (three) than touchdowns (two) and the Patriots were struggling to separate themselves from the hobbled (but determined) Chargers. Needing a spark, New England did just what you would expect: It turned to a running back whose toughness and maturity were questioned late in the season when anonymous teammates left diapers in front of his locker (emphasis ours).



Picture of a Patriot Diaper. Warning to all others: Never search for Diapers on the internet. Trust us. Don't do it.

So some Patriots were sending our buddy Laurence Maroney a message. Maybe Tom had an extra diaper on him, and thought LM could use it. Unlike condoms: Tommy never carries extra condoms.

And don't worry, fellow Haters. Come Monday, we'll be back in pure adulation or utter dismay for the incomparable, incomprehensible, and otherwise inconceivable SuperBore Wrapup.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well the Patriots are acused of cheating again in SuperBowl 36, which is vs. the Rams in the 2001 season. Im not sure of all the details saw something on ESPN about it.. and theres some guy who was the Patriots video person from 96-03 that said hes going to talk about. So.

Anyways I dont think if the Patriots got caught for any years past 06 .. im not sure he would come out of SuperBowl 36, 38, 39 that playoff game in 2005 .. bla bla bla was all cheated. Yeah that will make the fans feel real good about the NFL. Im sure we will never get the real story.

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

THEY LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
There's always next year - LOSERS!!!

7:09 PM  
Anonymous Hate pats 4 life said...

Yesssssssss The Patriots have been
slain! I knew the Pats could be beat and it finally showed tonight. Hats off to Eli Manning and the Giants. The Giants truly lived up to their name.The Patriots finally showed their true colors today. The Pats are just a average team with a lot of hype. The Patriots suck forever! Long live the hate. 18-1 Patriots Eat on that New England fans! I'm sure that bandwagon isn't so comfortable no more.

7:29 PM  

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