Monday, November 26, 2007

Patriots: The New Bills

Boston (INEPT) - As the Hatriots scratched and clawed their way to victory over the flightless Eagles Monday night, a vision entered our heads. It was a beautiful thing to behold, more complex than the escape plan imprinted on Michael Scofield's body, more stunning than any Frank Lloyd Wright creation. Yes, it was a blueprint. But not for a building. No, more precious than that. It was a blueprint for the Hatriots' defeat.

Scofield hates the Patriots too

This precious image came about as we realized the Hatriots aren't who we thought they were. Remember what this team was built on years ago when (alas) they did win the SuperBore (yes, we even have to admit, three times): Defense, and timely offense. Well, dear Reader, that was then, this is now. This is a different team. This team, you see, has a powerful offense (again, painful to admit), but the defense isn't too sound. And this new version of the Hatriots bears a strong resemblance to another team from the past.

INEPT knows its history

Now, dear Reader, which team could that be? Well, let us remind you. This was a team that rolled to a 13-3 record during the regular season. In the playoffs, they crunched a good Marino-led Dolphin squad, and absolutely demolished the Raiders 51-3. They came to the Superbore as the team to beat. And. They. Lost. You remember, now, don't you? Wide right Yes, that's right. This current Hatriot team is nothing other than a modern incarnation of the 1990 Buffalo Bills.

The New Math: Patriots equal (1990) Bills

You remember the game? If so, you remember exactly how to beat the current Hatriots. Ball control. Shorten the game. Hit 'em hard, repeatedly. It has been done twice this season (Colts, Eagles), and it has almost worked. It only needs to work once. And yes, those of you who are paying attention; there is a sweet irony at work. Who, of course, was the mastermind behind this plan? Who came up with the blueprint to beat the Bills then, the Hatriots now? Well, dear Reader, you probably guessed that too:

Belichoke: Your own plan will defeat you!

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Blogger Stephen said...

It seems to me that it's more of a Blue print to narrowly lose to the Patriots

7:25 PM  
Blogger Dave H said...

Love it, love it, LOVE IT!

11:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with Stephen.

So far all those awesome teams have done is lose to us by a margin of a field goal and then some.

So now just because we didn't blow the other teams out we're being slowly slapped down off the pedestal?

Some funny stuff, that is.

9:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


See, if Belichick was the one that won over the 90's Bills....

Then considering he's our head coach....

Shouldn't he be able to stop his own plan?

7:43 AM  
Anonymous Chip Dawg said...

You're comparing a 2007 team to one from 1990?? You've got to be kidding. Someone take away your computer. You've lost the right to make a blog, you toolbox.

This was NOT a blue print of how to beat the Pats. The only thing that we learned the other night is that the Philadelphia Eagles Defense and their QB AJ Feeley are not half-bad when they bring their A game. Feeley played VERY well and may have shown that the Pats secondary is a little weak when the opposing team is given time to pass. But whose team is not that way??
The Pats apparently tried to experiment by not running the ball and found that the Eagles secondary is pretty good.

I guarantee the Pats will be running the ball more often as long as Maroney is healthy. Maroney's the key. If he runs the ball well for the Pats as a team stay relatively healthy, then this team will not lose.

9:43 AM  
Blogger Dave H said...

The funny thing is that these Patriots will lose with the same strategy that they beat the Rams in the Super Bowl with.

Other team have expolsive wide outs? Just mangle them at the line, and destroy them when they catch the ball. If it can be done to Holt and Bruce, it can be done to these guys.

A defeat is baking in the oven, boys, it's gonna come out nice and crispy.

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Yeah okay lol said...

Not as crispy as you when the Patriots go 16-0.


2:00 PM  
Anonymous Chip Dawg said...

I love that. You people really are sincere in your hatred of the Pats. It's called football. It's a game. Perhaps you should get out more often. There's a real world out there.

But with that being said, one cannot just beat the Pats like the Rams were beaten. What a joke. We live in New England. We're used to playing in tough conditions against the toughest teams.
Did we lay down when we had to play in a blizzard against the Raiders?? No!!

Did we lay down when we had to go into Pittsburgh in not one but two AFC Championship games?? NO!! (Note: Tom Brady had a fever of 103 degrees that day in January 2005 and still sliced and diced the Steelers)
Superbowl 38 tested our mettle more than ever and we won. With the help of the refs, the Colts tested our mettle on November 4th and we won.
We've fought wars and won and we're not laying down for anyone!! So don't think you can sit there at your little computers and talk smack until you've done what we've done. Your jealousy is pathetic and this talk of cheating or camera-gate has only added fuel to the Patriot Fire!! No one can stop us!! You can hate us all you want, but it's only because you fear what you hate. That's us!! It's also because you wish your team could do the things we can do!!
Right now we can make history!! 19-0 is only a dream, but it's within reach!!

2:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"with the help of the refs"...amazing, I have never seen a team get more soft calls than the patriots...amazingly poor spots to their favor, non-calls, non-reviews. The pats were outplayed by the Eagles last week, hands-down...that's right, your team should have lost to a career backup and the worst pack of wideouts the league has seen in ten years. Gafney's touchdown at the end of the first half should have been reviewed, it was not clearly a touchdown and was consequential. The Pats are the NFL's goldenboys and they'd [the NFL] would like to keep it that way. Moss pushes off in the endzone almost exclusively, he'd have at least 5 fewer TDs if this were called when it should. He also is only on pace to break a record set by Rice when Rice only played 12 there's no real accomplishment there. Honestly, the Pats are complete shit, go 16-0 in the softest division in years, christ, most college teams could go 6-0 in that division. Brady is the most overrated QB in the history of the NFL, and he has the numbers to prove it. Fact, this season is the first he's put up ANYTHING above mediocre numbers. John Kitna could be Tom Brady in New England. Pats fans are the most ignorant group of jackasses I have ever met in my entire life. Keep blowing out teams, you can be the first team to go 16-0 with the other teams' playbooks in your back pocket. Classless douchebags all the way.

7:25 PM  
Anonymous ugh... said...

"Your jealousy is pathetic and this talk of cheating or camera-gate has only added fuel to the Patriot Fire!!"

It's not "talk" of cheating, it's a fact. The Patriots have been cheating for god knows how long, but mangini knew about it, so it's been a few years at least. You think cheating is no big deal, if it added anything it added a field goal...kinda consequential when the Pats have won a total of three championships by a total of NINE fucking points. Futher, the only reason the Pats run up the score is because they want people to remember the season for something other than them cheating their asses off. Even further, Patsies have been caught numerous times doing this, and if everyone else is supposedly doing it too, where's the proof. Did billy misinterpret the rules? You're a fucktard if you think so...he cheated, plain and simple, the Pats should be banned from the playoffs this season.

"No one can stop us!! You can hate us all you want, but it's only because you fear what you hate. That's us!!"

You're going to lose very soon, a strong middle game is all it takes, your dust-farting linebackers couldn't touch westbrook...look for this to bring you down really soon. Oh, and a healthy Colts would have beaten you weeks ago.

Also, no one hates the pats because they win...everyone loves teams that win. It's because you dipshits do it with no class. Beat teams, please, it's what footballs about...but don't continue to pound them when they are down by 40 points in the fourth, it's like beating up a retarded kid, have some fucking class...put your backups in and run the ball.

"It's also because you wish your team could do the things we can do!!"

If my team acted like the patriots I would vomit.

typical pats hominem arguments are the bestest!

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God must love douche bags. That has to be the only reason why the Patriots keep winning.

8:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope Brady is personally giving all those handjobs its taking for the refs to make those bullshit calls. Stopped by Baltimore, what, three? times on fourth down that last drive, only for New England to be officiated right back into the game...good show NFL, the pats do need the help, so keep giving it. Obviously here I'm insinuating that the NFL wants the Pats to go undefeated to fill seats.

9:33 PM  
Anonymous Patty "put away your camera" Pat said...

Well, actually, it was Billick who let them back in the game there...apparently he's in on it, too.

What we have here is more of the Fraidy legend in the making. *Every* team is playing the Patriots like it's their own personal Super Bowl. Each time, they come up short. What a shame for Coach Shula, who obviously has such a huge ego and is so arrogant that he thinks his accomplishments will never be topped. Reminds me of someone else...

Blueprint, my ass. Yes, that's right, there's a blueprint for the Patriots on my ass. It's me, a six pack of ale, and a great game on my ass in front of 1080 integrated rows of pixels. Every freaking fraidy HD week. The Prime Time Patriots and King Belicheck are on a roll.

I wonder what the market share was tonight -I'll bet it was the best ever on ESPCrap!

10:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha Ha ! I love it.
You can gnash your teeth and foam at the mouth all you want but we Patriots fans know that WE RULE and we WILL win the SuperBowl despite whatever you pathetic whiners and I mean Colts fans throw at us. You guys make it look like NFL stands for Natural Fakers Lose.

- Harry Onara
I'm going to enjoy it again this year as we post another trophy on the dynasty wall.
All spoils to the Victors kiddies ! Have fun breaking your furniture in frustration!!

11:18 PM  
Anonymous blowout. said...

The funny thing about this post is that spygate happened in game one, during the first half. Which would really mean that for the rest of the game, roughly three quarters (the game started getting ruled by the Pats) and the next 11 games after that, there has been no cheating, no cameras, no sound bites. Just plain, old fashioned winning. the last two games have been tough (Eagles and Ravens), however, rather than being a blueprint to beat them, its more of the Pats just playing like a normal team, instead of destroying anything that has touched the grass on the field.

If anyone has noticed, the teams that have been blown out, are all teams that came out and had someone run there mouth about spygate. Thus causing a personal grudge the Patriots to lean back on and then launch themselves into a horrendous ly sad (for the other team) blow out.

I wouldn't worry too much about 16-0 or 19-0 or super bowl champions, folks. I would worry too much about your team having to play the Pats in the playoffs. It seems to me that they have lost hmm... 1 game in the playoffs in recent years...So lets lift yourselves up by the bootstraps and stop whining and bitching and moaning about how the Patriots cheated and how they are going to blow it, and put up or shut up. 4 games left for an upset, lets see who can stop opening their mouth and inserting a foot. Thanks :)

1:56 AM  
Anonymous Marty said...

THis is a pretty funny website. I admit to being a pats fan - grew up in boston and went to BC. But man I can tell the pats just get under your skin. great site.

To pats fans - lighten up. We finally have a dynasty to be proud of after some pretty horrendous years (ok bellichek has the personality of a cardboard box but then he isnt paid to be charming). Enjoy the ride but dont be dicks about it.


9:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lost just one game in the playoffs in recent about half the story, I mean, really...are you an idiot? Any team that makes the playoffs has only lost (and here is the equation) [number of seasons made the playoffs and not won the superbowl x 1] games in the playoffs...good argument. Hey what about that season in between superbowls where the Pats didnt even make the playoffs...what a dynasty

9:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Patriots are losing their momentum... end of it. They couldn't lose it at a better time, but coming into the playoffs. Their defense is old and worn and are playing that way. I'm still in shock that Kyle Boller scored 24 pts. against ANYBODY. I am disappointed that the Ravens didn't win, but they really lost the game themselves. I didn't watch it, because I can't stand to see the Patriots win any more, but from the recaps, it sounds like Baltimore just kept screwing themselves. It's a shame, but it exposed the Pats a lot. Each close game is exposing them more and more... just in time for the playoffs. I hope they lose their first playoff game to someone like Jacksonville. Maybe DelRio will bring some rocks to throw at the fans this time!

9:47 AM  
Blogger Arya said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Disgusted Pats Fan said...

The Ravens played great. Really.

But they played for Sean Taylor. I bet both Haters and fans can all agree that playing a game with that man in mind must have shot a spark at the mental motivation for the Ravens. No wonder they brought their A-game.

But. We. Still. Won.

"It's not "talk" of cheating, it's a fact. The Patriots have been cheating for god knows how long, but mangini knew about it, so it's been a few years at least. You think cheating is no big deal, if it added anything it added a field goal...kinda consequential when the Pats have won a total of three championships by a total of NINE fucking points. Futher, the only reason the Pats run up the score is because they want people to remember the season for something other than them cheating their asses off. Even further, Patsies have been caught numerous times doing this, and if everyone else is supposedly doing it too, where's the proof. Did billy misinterpret the rules? You're a fucktard if you think so...he cheated, plain and simple, the Pats should be banned from the playoffs this season."

Man, we won those championships fair and square. Deal with it. God. Stop whining like a little bitch about the three points. If we all whined about what could have been the outcome of all the games in NFL history that were either won by a little margin or lost by a blown call, we wouldn't even get halfway through before we die. Pats didn't get banned, we're still in here. Again, stop whining about what could have been. Everyone else just didn't happen to get caught with the Spygate thing, btw. Was our luck, I guess. Though honestly, I don't think writing down calls is different from videotaping 'em.

Running up the score isn't our fault either. Considering, oh wait...there's something called a defense, right?

Shouldn't this so-called defense have kicked it up a notch and actually tried to stop us from running up the score? Isn't that the job of the defense in general?

Yeah....I think so.

Healthy Colts? I don't think you would have thought them unhealthy when they were beating us 21 to 10. Only after we won suddenly the calls of "IF HARRISON WAS HERE YOU'D BE DEAD!" and "UGOH WAS OUT FOR THIS ONE. THE WIN SHOULDN'T COUNT!" were being heard.

Seems like Colts fans are also questionable in their arguments.

Our dust-farting linebackers have been doing just fine, considering...we....are.....what is it now? Oh yeah. 12-0.

"You're a fucktard if you think so..."
"Your dust-farting linebackers..."
"Even further, Patsies..."

And final should not be referring to ad hominem when you use it yourself. In fact, I think you have no idea what it truly means.

Later, Hater.

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"And final should not be referring to ad hominem when you use it yourself. In fact, I think you have no idea what it truly means"

my masters in philosophy probably means I do. Further, I was calling names based on the idiocy of common "pats fans'" arguments, not the arguments themeselves...teach me more, please.

"Man, we won those championships fair and square. Deal with it. God. Stop whining like a little bitch about the three points"

See you don't get it, the reason it's worth mentioning is BECAUSE you only won by three points. Maybe if you didn't know most of the calls on the field, you wouldn't have. You're naive if you think the Pats weren't doing the same thing they were caught with the entire time.

"Healthy Colts? I don't think you would have thought them unhealthy when they were beating us 21 to 10. Only after we won suddenly the calls of "IF HARRISON WAS HERE YOU'D BE DEAD!" and "UGOH WAS OUT FOR THIS ONE. THE WIN SHOULDN'T COUNT!" were being heard."

Hmm, seeing as the Colts being "healthy" or not is a question of their status, not of how they play (see where this is going?) I clearly would have said they were unhealthy even if they beat the Pats 100-0. The Colts were unhealthy, they didn't have their star receiver and Manning didn't have the guy that blocks his blind-side, he had a rookie. I don't how good wayne is, having only one viable target makes the secondary's job easy.

"Oh yeah. 12-0."

We can settle on this, "12*-0"

Seriously though, does New England know the rest of the country hates it?

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Brady's Heavy Petting Zoo said...

I won't talk about the goat picture anymore, cuz that speaks for itself...

Thanks Marty, for being a Pats fan that realizes that other Pats fans can be super douches. Cheers, there. Especially the turbo douches who decree an undefeated season even though there's still just shy of a month of regular season play. I'll believe it when I see it. And if you think I'm some whiny Dolphins fan who doesn't want you guys to go undefeated, you're wrong again. If you go undefeated, great! The dolphins are so crappy, they don't deserve to have a legacy anymore. Take it. Even Marino picked the 'phins to go 0 and a billion this year (he said he didn't mean to say 'yes' instead of 'no', but I think he just backpedalled for decorum).

And thank you, above poster, for putting an asterisk next to the 12. At least some of you guys are finally getting used to that.

2:30 PM  
Blogger C-Smith said...

The Cleveland Browns will upset New England in the playoffs, and go on to play Dallas in the Super Bowl. I call it.

3:57 PM  
Anonymous LOL said...

And pigs will fly.

4:41 PM  
Anonymous New Englander said...

"Seriously though, does New England know the rest of the country hates it?"

Hell yeah, bitch. We fricking love it! :)

Shows what you know by speaking up for the entire country, too.

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Patty "Shake your money maker" Pat said...

At least the enrire country was watching!

record viewers watch MNF
when the Pats play. Script me another win, Roger!

3:40 PM  
Anonymous Brady's Heavy Petting Zoo said...

I wouldn't doubt it. I really wouldn't.

As a side note, the record amount of people watching football when the Pats play proves one thing: that more and more people are sick of the Patriots and want to see them fail. "Jealous", Pat fans would call it, "would like to see a legitimate team kick the shit out of the cheating asterisks" is what everyone else calls it. Whatever one suits you. I like the second one, myself.

No, it doesn't prove that there's that many Pats fans. Just that many more idiotic bandwagoners, if anything.

I can't believe the Pats almost lost to the Ravens. The colts, the cowboys, those I could see you really duking it out with. But, the Ravens? Keep playin' down to your opponents, Pats! We're countin' on you to keep it arrogant!

6:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the monday night game was only fun for non-patriots fans to watch...

I don't want to give too much credit to Patriots fans, but I doubt even they could have watched that last quarter and thought their team was actually earning the win.

6:08 AM  
Anonymous Sick of the Cheating Bastards said...


Wow! Thatr just feels wrong but I was even a a >blech!< Ravens fan so I guess I can be a Steelers fan for one week!

Anyone to beat the lying, cheating Patriots***! Easily the most hateable team in the history of civilization!

Is there anyone else who will root for almost anyone just as long as they beat these frauds badly?


11:46 AM  
Anonymous Sick of the Cheating Bastards said...

I just laugh every time I read the "it was only the 1st quarter and besides they never saw the video" phony argument from Patriot*** fans.

1) You have a team which was caught red handed cheating, no question about that
2) This team has put up huge numbers completely above both league averages and the prior output of any of the players involved.
3) You have a team with a long history of rule violations and ethical lapses.

My question is simply this, How do we know they ever stopped cheating and how do we know that the extent of their cheating stopped at the illegal videotaping?

12:02 PM  
Anonymous Sick of the Hating Bastards said...

Wow, that's a stupid question.

You think that the NFL and Goodell would let the Pats off the hook that easily? We're being monitored.

And we're still winning.

And you guys can keep bitching. It's fun to read.

3:02 PM  
Anonymous Sick of the Cheating Bastards said...

But that is exactly what he did do, let the Patriots*** off the hook easily. Not a single suspension from a suspension happy commissioner. No punishment for this year's cheating team whatsoever.

3:07 PM  
Anonymous Sick of the Hating Bastards said...

But didn't the Pats get fined a good 75 mill overall, and they lose their first draft pick next year?

Everyone said it was the most harsh punishment ever seen by the NFL.

I think that's enough....

5:01 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Hater in Chief:
I was surprised you didn't write anything about the Patriots game last Monday. You should; there's a lot to be said about that game.

The Colts and the Patriots both squeaked past their opponents on Sunday and Monday. Probably, fans of these teams were very nervous at the end of the game. The difference? The team that the Colts beat was the Jacksonville Jaguars, who are ranked #6 at the moment. And they looked pretty good doing so, though Jacksonville wore them down a bit at the end. But, Jacksonville didn't wear them down enough to win. The Patriots, however, squeaked past the Baltimore Ravens. Now, this team is rather sucky; they're ranked #24 out of 32. I know that the Patriots beat the Colts. I know the Colts lost to the Chargers and squeaked by the Chiefs. But losing to the Chargers is a hell of a lot less embarrassing than losing the the Ravens, which the Patriots almost did. And as for the win against the Chiefs... the Colts had Marvin Harrison, Tony Ugoh, Dwight Freeney, and Anthony Gonzalez out. Neither Dallas Clark (who was out during the Chargers game) nor Adam Vinatieri were injured enough to sit out, but they were definitely unhealthy enough to not play well. And the previous week, though the Colts played a terrible first quarter, they managed to pummel Atlanta anyway, while the Patriots slipped by with a 31-28 victory over the Eagles. Dallas does have a better record than the Colts, but sadly, the Patriots crushed the Cowboys. It's just... sometimes, the Colts really do look better than the Patriots, though the records unfortunately suggest otherwise. But the Colts have been crippled lately... I think that they can knock the Pats out of the Super Bowl playoffs; they've got time now to let their injured players get better. Hopefully they can crush Baltimore on Sunday. As for the Patriots... with their schedule (by the way Hater in Chief, you should like make a list of all the teams you think could be 12-0 if they played the teams that the Patriots are), if they're going to lose at this point, the team to ensure that this happens is the Steelers. Though maybe not, considering what Baltimore could've done before they lost their cool at the end of the game...

The sad thing is, the Colts, the Eagles, and the Ravens all deserved to beat the Patriots. And everyone sees it but the Patriots and their fans. I honestly don't think they know that everyone else hates them...

7:51 PM  
Blogger Old said...

What is so great about the Patriots are all the classy fans of the team.

12:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, classy fans... I forgot. Let's see... they throw rocks at Jack DelRio while their team is absolutely KILLING his. They have no idea about the game of football, just the game of football according to Belichick. AND, my husband included, seems to think the Patriots are "America's team"... Good Lord... America hates them!

2:38 AM  
Blogger Chip Dawg said...

Why is there no post about the Ravens game? Very disappointing.

While the Pats were very fortunate with that 4th down timeout the Ravens took, I can see no "lucky" call that went the Pats way. If you look at the replays, the Ravens have no gripes. Samari Rolle and Chris McAlister can't say a damn thing. I'll give the Ravens credit. They played hard and as determined as ever, and probably should have won the game, but not only did they commit pass interference on Watson when it counted, they did so on Moss and all the receivers during the entire game. If anyone has any bitching to do, it's the Patriots.
But I believe this is what it has come down to. The other teams have to grab our receivers to slow them down, and I expect we'll see more grabbing from the Steelers this weekend. They know the referees can't call all the penalties. It is what it is.
The Pats are a tired and drained team, so it will take all their effort this weekend. Can they beat the Steelers?

7:21 AM  
Blogger Old said...

Another great thing about the Patriots is how when they win games their fans do not fill up internet message boards with complaints about the refs, the opposing teams' players, and the opposing teams' fans.

7:22 AM  
Blogger Old said...

Hah! What archery! I should try out for the internet message board archery team! Look at the timing of chip dawg's post and mine! What archery!

7:26 AM  
Blogger Old said...

anonymous said...
AND, my husband included, seems to think the Patriots are "America's team"... Good Lord... America hates them!

Sorry about your husband anonymous. Have you considered a strap-on?

7:29 AM  
Blogger Chip Dawg said...

Let's get 'em Old!!
Sarah, you are clearly a loyal Colts fan and that's admirable. But as you said, "The sad thing is, the Colts, the Eagles, and the Ravens all deserved to beat the Patriots. And everyone sees it but the Patriots and their fans." To quote, William H. Munny (Clint Eastwood's character in Unforgiven) "Deserves ain't got nothing to do with it. They got beaten by Tom Brady and a vastly superior Patriots team. Why do I say the Pats are superior? Because the Pats won where 99 percent of the league would have lost. On the road and against the odds they pulled it off. Did I think they were going to lose? I'd be a liar if I said no, particularly against the Colts and the Ravens. It simply amazes me that they did it on a night when they didn't play particularly well with all those drops and a defense that didn't stop the run for most of the game. What's too bad is that many of the folks who post on this website refuse to appreciate the quality of football from this team.

7:47 AM  
Blogger Chip Dawg said...

I hate to go against your post from earlier, but I've gotta say, even though we won that Colts game I still to this day have to comment on how awful the referees were. I taped that game and have looked at some of their calls. I've watched NFL football for almost thirty years and I honestly think that game was fixed by the refs. Those referees had clear lines of sight on many of their calls and still they fu#@ed the Pats early and often. Ellis Hobbs DID not commit pass interference on Reggie Wayne, and there's no one that can tell me he did not defend that pass as well one possibly can. There were many other calls that the Pats deserved to be called for, but that game and the AFC championship were very disturbing. I really hope and pray that the Mob hasn't gotten their hooks into the referees, but I'm telling you I was disturbed by what I saw and the replays really should disturb most people who can look at these games with an open mind.

8:15 AM  
Blogger Old said...

chip dawg said...
...even though we won that Colts game I still to this day have to comment on how awful the referees were.

What archery! I should try out for the internet message board archery team! Look at the timing of chip dawg's post and mine! What archery!

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Pat said...

Well, here it is: Pats were caught breaking the rules. Pats accepted punishment like men.

Effect on the season: none.

As far as wether it was a token slap or a huge show of disapproval: let's call it a slap. Why? Because it made no difference in the outcome of that or any game.
Because Roger & Bill sat down and had a heart to heart about it and Roger decided that Bill brought up some powerful points. We'll never know how that conversation went. Other than this: "You know, Bill, you're a very bad boy." "Well, Rog, here's $750,000. Let's forget about the whole thing." "O.K."
Because a punishment was due, but apparently not a crippling one.
Because the lingering controversy is *GREAT* for ratings. CBS is going to *CLEAN UP* on Sunday.
Because the league needed a goat.
Because he wasn't trying very hard to hide anything, which leads me to belive he DID think it was OK to make training video, as long as it wasn't used "during the game".
Because it's fun to hear all the haters whine.
Because ad hominem is such a fun term that folks seem to love to use out of context, especially when they're guilty of ad hominem whining.
Because there's no business like show business!
About Rodney: again, he stood up like a man and accepted his punishment. He admitted that he was trying to shortcut recovery. There was NO positive drug test. The reason he was punished is because he admitted to it. Otherwise he coulda got off scott-free like the Devner Dope-smoker. *MUCH* different than the hundreds of others who have been caught and lied about it.
NY Post: As if they're legitimate for anything other than lining birdcages. The term fishwrap was coined to to describe this rag. Would that Rupert Murdoch could finance anything that bordered on legitimate journalism.
Referees: The refs have taken the Patriots out of many games over the years with phantom calls (probably because of all the tuck rule whiners). The Ravens game was reviewed and found to be clean.
Mob affiliated Referees: Well, there could be something there. There're still folks putting gawdy amounts of dough on the Pats even with the hyperbolic spreads. Keeping the Pats below the spread is a definite money-maker for a dirty ref. Letting them win or lose is irrelevent.
The League: Well, it's tough to fathom that so many folks could be kept in the dark about the scripting of what is supposed to be a spontaneous form of entertainment. I think that there'd be too many folks involved for it to remain a valid conspiracy. Heck - a group of 20 senior staffers at the most secretive White House ever can't keep a lid on the leaks. Haters remind me of the 9/11 conspiaracy theorists. There was no "mystery official" flying around the park last Monday throwing mystery flags. Unless you count the Ravens defense throwing flags...
Greatest team ever: that'll always be debated. I think it was the 1903 Walla Walla Onion Skinners.
I have loved the Patriots since I was old enough to know what football is. Steve Grogan, baby. Steve freaking Grogan!

Aside to the HIC - you made the Metafilter front page yesterday.

Aside to all others: Check this out! Can Big Ben save the universe from the Patriots?

2:25 PM  
Anonymous pats fucking suck said...

lol the irony here is too overwhelming to behold

6:32 PM  
Anonymous Alright, Guys... said...

I think all of us need to stop whining and enjoy the battle of titans on Sunday.

Then we all can bitch to each other.

Personally, I say:


9:01 PM  
Anonymous Lombardi Bandwagon said...

Thank you for actually saying the Pats are playing a football game against another team that's quite good.

Most of the Pats douches on here are already drunk on Shirley Temples and celebrating a Super Bowl win...

Heehee. I bet they also ran to look up "Steve Grogan", because their fairweather asses have NO idea who he is.

Go Steelers!

2:52 PM  
Anonymous Alright, Guys... said...

Returned appreciation for not bitching about the Patriot players and instead rightfully referring to the horrible shameful fans on here that whine like schoolgirls.

It isn't fair to the other fans who actually appreciate the sport of football and enjoy a good me. And what you said isn't always true, but yeah I bet a good amount of fans are too idealistic in their versions of the team. I personally hope we win, but know it'll be a fricken hell of a match.

Cheers to ya, Lombardi Bandwagon, may the best team win.

I'm voting for the Pats though. :D

6:53 PM  
Anonymous GO PATRIOTS ! said...

hey dude, you're really funny and by funny i mean a little girl. who do you support? dolphins? Just because we are a better team than you does not mean you have to whine like a little girl on blogspot. I love how obsessed you are. and i bet after you read this you will say to yourself "I'm not sad and pathetic and obsessed." and whilst you fap yourself to sleep because you can't get a woman (due to the fact you spend your time on blogspot) we will be enjoying watching the Patriots and after that we will go upstairs to our wives and girlfriends and bone them. Enjoy your little whinging rant. You'll just end up disappointed that the New England Patriots are better than whatever shitty little team you support.

Peace out.


9:07 AM  
Anonymous WOO WOO said...



Yeah......going well. Steelers are playing excellently. Patriots are equally as good.

Let's continue watching, shall we? :D

2:46 PM  
Anonymous TOTALLY MOSSOME said...




3:12 PM  
Anonymous Lol Squealers said...

34-13 etc....BITCH!

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

eat it haters.

7:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

look what the colts did to the ravens, 16-0 don't mean shit if you lose in the playoffs.

5:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

excuse me, 16*-0 don't mean shit...

5:35 AM  
Blogger Chip Dawg said...

Now look, there are way too many anonymous people on this blog. Pick a name, be a man, so we Pats fans can call you out.
Our team's the best and you know it. Keep throwing the silly asterisk out there too while you're at it. It only adds more fuel to the Patriot War Machine. We have played the best and beat the best. Nuff said.

5:40 AM  
Anonymous srd said...

I love it, "the patriot war machine!" I can't stomach the media and awful Patriots if they are someone you don't want to provoke. Give me a break. The Pats aren't the best, sorry. It's just not true. The colts are a better team, and you barely beat them when they were awfully injured. The Colts scored more points on Baltimore in the first half than the Pats did last week in the entire game, the Ravens literally undressed the won because you had more men on the field, not because you were (in any way, shape, or agruable form) the better team last week against Baltimore.

Further, the asterik stands...once it's been established that you cheated (say it to yourself over and over until you understand, "we cheated"), THE BURDEN IS ON YOU TO PROVE YOU DIDN'T! So until the Pats can somehow prove to me they didn't skeeve their way into three superbowls, the asterik is what they get, and it's how the rest of the country sees them as well. No one respects you, New England and its fans are a bunch of cocky, classless, ignoramuses.

I would beat tom brady with a pipe if I had the chance...the 5 years in prison would be worth it to be a national hero.

7:25 AM  
Blogger Chip Dawg said...

srd, I'm tired of lame excuses like this: "The colts are a better team, and you barely beat them when they were awfully injured."
You had no Marvin Harrison - boo freakin hoo. I'm sorry, but no one else stepped up in Harrison's absence and Manning had Joe Average receivers to throw to. Welcome to our world Son or Daughter whatever you are!! We had Reche Caldwell as our #1 receiver last year!! Ol' Fish Eyes was the 3rd or 4th receiver for the Chargers for God's sake. In addition, we haven't had an all-pro receiver since 2001. The Colts have had one damn near every year since Manning's been in the league. You're just pissed because no one else stepped up against the Pats, and we beat you in your own building during one of the biggest regular season games in NFL history.
Also, don't even compare the Pats-Ravens game with last night's. The Ravens obviously treated the Pats game like it was their Superbowl when they could have cared less against the Colts. This is evidenced by the fact that Samari Rolle and Chris McAlister had achy manginas and couldn't play.

Here's another fact for ya: We are 13-0 without cameras. And, I hate to break it to ya, but even if the Pats had used cameras to record defensive signals during their Superbowl Years, they did it legally. The Pats were never accused of cheating, but of breaking a rule, which didn't come into existence until just before the start of the 2007 season.

Also, call me crazy, but let's suppose the Pats stole defensive signals and were able to jam other team's frequencies, I believe they may have won these Superbowls by more then 3 points. Again, I know this an outrageous concept.

Here's a final fact: We're 13-0 and we fu#@ing rule until somebody beats us.

8:27 AM  
Blogger Chip Dawg said...


I'm not done with you yet. The burden of proving the Patriots, or anyone for that matter, guilty lies with the prosecution. So, what evidence do you have to prove the Patriots guilty of cheating beyond a reasonable doubt? I don't think you have anything more than speculation. I believe you have no evidence and neither does anyone else. You may present your evidence when ready.

8:57 AM  
Anonymous srd said...

First, the Colts were without Harrison, Gonzalez, and their starting LT. THese are all significant losses to the Colts. With only 1 viable receiver those third and longs were easy to predict...with gonzalez and harrison, the colts would have won. Further, the LT guards manning's blind side, if you can't hurry manning, you can't beat the colts, they wouldn't have been so successful if he wasn't out.

Also, I'm not a Ravens fan, don't assume so. I don't really have a favorite NFL team, I just loathe the Patriots.

The Pats were accused of recording signals last year, I don't care if it's "legal" or not, let's call a spade a spade.

I like this statement too, "The Pats were never acused of cehating, but of breaking a rule"...hmmm, well here is a textbook definition of the word, "To violate rules deliberately, as in a game." Sounds exactly like what the Pats were accused of...kill yourself for attempting to make that argument.

"Also, call me crazy, but let's suppose the Pats stole defensive signals..."

I will call you crazy, the Patriots have always been a bunch of talent-less hacks who "work well together" we know why, they were cheating (or "deliberately violating a rule" [are we convinced it's the same thing yet?]).

Because you felt so compelled to post a second time, "I'm not done with you yet..." (by the way, you're very intimidating), I will educate you on the matter. There are many, many different burdens in our legal system...and once a presumption is established (like the patriots cheating), it's up to them to rebut it. Please don't presume to educate me on the law.

11:59 AM  
Anonymous GiantsfaninNE said...

I agree with whoever said that most of the country hates the Patriots. The idiot fans around here think that they had a record number of viewers last Monday because the country loves them, when it's just the opposite. The country wanted to see if SOMEBODY could nail Brady and have him carted off the field. Nobody can stand these jerks and their arrogant ways. I especially hate them because I have to live with the cockiness of the media here in Boston and the idiotic fans. Most of which don't know one other player from one other team. Most of them only know their Gaytriots!

12:51 PM  
Blogger Chip Dawg said...

First things first, Patriot Fans,
Is it me or is there some great satisfaction whenever we beat Pittsburgh? Beating them in the '96 AFC divisional playoff was great. Beating them in the 2001 AFC Championship was outfu#@ing standing. And beating them in the 2004 AFC Championship in their own building after we had lost to them earlier was downright orgasmic.
Today was great, but beating them in the playoffs will be even sweeter. Not as sweet as beating the Colts, but pretty darn sooweet!!

I don't know where to start with you. You did everything I predicted you would. You made the same lame injury excuse for the Colts losing. You also presented zero evidence, only speculation on the Pats supposed "cheating".
This idea that Brady and his "talentless hacks" worked so well together they won three Superbowls is absolutely ridiculous, but you can believe what you want. It sounds like more of the pathetic excuses given out by Marshall Faulk, Hines Ward, and some of those other whiny fu#@s who never won anything, so if you want to sound like whiny little wench who never won anything be my guest.

And SRD, you showed you do indeed need some educating on the law. You're accusing them of cheating, so the burden is always on the prosecution (you) to prove the defendant's guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. Christ, that's Into to Law 101.

Oh and Mr Giants fanine, if you don't like it in Boston where we support our team GET THE FU#@ out!!! We really could care less what the country thinks. Are Patriot fans cocky? Arrogant? Yeah maybe. Watching this oustanding team win 13 in a row as well as have three Superbowls and five AFC East Titles will do that to ya. We apologize for nothing. Especially when it took us 41 years just to win one Superbowl.

1:24 PM  
Anonymous Steve said...

Srd, presumptions hold up to shit when you don't have evidence. If everyone just went around presuming that their neighbor killed someone else, don't you think we'd have a huge mass crisis on our hands? And according to your logic, everyone would then have to defend themselves. Now wouldn't that be a mess...

Ever heard of the phrase "Innocent until proven guilty"? It's kind of what the American justice system stands for. I think you DO need some education in regards to the law.

According to the NFL, Patriots don't have an asterisk. And you can say they deserve one, but no one cares.

And you know how you call our players un-classy? There were a ton of unsportsmanlike behavioral conducts out on the field Sunday night....and it wasn't us.

Shitbag. :)

1:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The moronic Hater who posted right before me, who claims that most Pats fans don't know shit about another team....

Sorry. You're wrong. :) And I won't even bother to argue with such an idiotic comment.

Pats fans, let's not waste our time on here responding to people such as srd who have NO life whatsoever, but to post on here and relive the fantasy that the Patriot organization somehow cheated three years in a row (without anyone noticing? Answer that one, please, I'm curious).

1:33 PM  
Anonymous GiantsfaninNE said...

The point remains that no one will ever know if they cheated for those three Super Bowls. There will always, I suspect, be an argument both ways, but no one can say one way or the other. The only one that knows that answer is that A-hole Belichick and that drunk, Bob Kraft. Belichick is a lying, cheating human being, so who can believe him anyway.

By the way, I grew up in New England, SRD, and I've lived here all my life. What I'm sick of is that, in this day and age of the internet and NFL Sunday Ticket, why everyone thinks you should "root root root for the home team" just because you live there. With Sunday Ticket we get every single game. I have a Seahawks fan and a Broncos fan in my house. I'm going to follow football feverishly, but it doesn't mean I have to like the home team. I can be a fan of whoever I want and shouldn't have to be called all kinds of names just because I do. THAT'S what I mean about Pats fans being idiots!

2:20 PM  
Anonymous srd said...

oh man, I love this game. Where to begin?

Firstly, The Colts were banged up, that's a fact.

Secondly, it's not supposed cheating, it's a fact. They didn't get fined for a mistake, they got fined because it was conclusive that they cheated. Or does the commissioner assess 500k penalties on his whim?

Thirdly, marshall faulk and hines ward have more combined talent than the every patriot for the last 5 years (spare moss)

Law 101? this makes me giggle, what online university did you go to? I'm not going to get into the specifics here, but you should really do some research before you throw your law and order rerun education into the argument. Seriously, you could probably wikipedia this for a better answer than the one you think you know.

Finally, sad that we share a name when you make such completely asinine statements.

Let's me quote this work of complete fucktardery:

"presumptions hold up to shit when you don't have evidence"

I mean, this is beyond explanation. The only thing I can say to this is " said the stupidest thing ever."

and your, I can only assume, thoroughly pondered example pushes this point:

"If everyone just went around presuming that their neighbor killed someone else, don't you think we'd have a huge mass crisis on our hands?"


You should have thought that whole post out in your head more thoroughly, and then never posted it.


2:23 PM  
Anonymous Steve said...

Yeah...I'm sad we share a name too. There's one thing we don't share, that I'm thankful of- your brain size. God, must be hard with that little thing, right?

Since you did not understand the simplicity of my arguments, I'll leave them alone. Go on, continue to fantasize about reality and use ad hominem, it will get you everywhere in life. :)


3:17 PM  
Anonymous srd said...

Oh Stevie, you're right. I'm sorry. I actually didn't realize the level of your incompetence...but you're right, your arguments are so bad that they actually loop all the way back around to being fucking brilliant!

It's this simple, let me explain...

"presumptions hold up to shit when you don't have evidence"

it's quite clear that you have not even a basic idea of what a "presumption" is.
I mean, if I was asked by someone to put into words the idea "has zero understanding of what a presumption is," I think this is what I would have come up with.

Not even mentioning that awfully offpoint hypothetical you attemped to show...i mean, talk about a misguided attempt at reductio ad absurdium

Further, I'm not using ad hominem arguments to defeat your arguments, I was merely saying you're an idiot because your arguments are so bad I could imagine them being made by a middle schooler (are you in middle school?) There is a basic difference between being insulted and arguing ad hominem. For example, see how in your last post you addressed the substance of my arguments by insulting my supposedly inferior brain size? That would be an almost perfect instance of an ad hominem argument. Seriously, college is not overrated and it's not too late.

But seriously though, thanks for the lesson in logic and law...I'm learning something new every day.

4:58 PM  
Anonymous aceofbassgreg said...

Your blog sucks dude. It should either be funny (Kissing Suzy Kolber style) or it should have decent engaging pieces about football. This has neither. You know nothing about football (or writing), and you're not funny. You just come across as sounding bitter, which is a shame, b/c life is too short to be such a bitter person.

6:35 PM  
Anonymous Steve said...

"I was merely saying you're an idiot because your arguments are so bad I could imagine them being made by a middle schooler (are you in middle school?)"

Yes, I am in middle school. And now you can tell your friends (?) that you spent your day arguing with a middle schooler.

7:47 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Chip Dawg,
Unfortunately, you can't say that the Patriots are vastly superior to teams that they just squeaked by. Yes, they won when some teams wouldn't have- but that doesn't change the fact that they looked like they were going to lose. And they did look like that- against the Colts, the Eagles, and the Ravens. You can't say that they're superior after how they played against them. Anyway, Peyton Manning did a fantastic job of leading the Colts offense to a 44-20 victory over Baltimore. He looked a lot better than Tom Brady did against Baltimore, that's for sure. I just wish they hadn't taken him out, because the Colts didn't score at all after they put Sorgi in. Still, though, the Colts crushed Baltimore. Would I say the Colts were superior to the Ravens after what they did to them? Yes. Would I say that the Pats are after how they played against the Ravens? In a word... no. And that's not just because I'm a loyal Colts fan. I would say the same thing even if I wasn't. Because you can't be superior to a team when you just squeaked by them. You're better than them, yeah, but not superior. Particularly not against the Colts, who held the Patriots to ten points for a good portion of the game- even with a lot of their starters out. Now Ugoh is back and Marvin will be back for the playoffs. So, we'll see you in Foxboro. You might win- but don't be surprised if you don't.

5:32 PM  
Anonymous PatsRule said...

"You're better than them, yeah, but not superior."
I had to read this three times ... and it still doesn't make sense. Are you George Bush?

5:54 AM  
Anonymous GiantsfaninNE said...


I understood Sarah perfectly! I guess you're not very bright!

10:23 AM  
Anonymous PatsRule said...

Then explain how that sentence makes sense, professor.
Better = superior

8:33 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

PatsRule, don't be worried that you can't understand a simple sentence separated by a "yeah". We don't blame you. You're just a Pats fan. We fans of other teams realize that you Pats fans aren't bright enough to understand us. (Am I making sense, or should I only use words that are less than six letters long so that you can understand?)

2:26 PM  
Blogger Chip Dawg said...

We Patriots fans realize that you haters are not bright enough to recognize or accept the fact that the Patriots are one of the best teams in NFL History. Spygate means nothing since all these teams have done similar things. But 3 Superbowls in 4 years, a perfect 16-0 season, 6 trips to the playoffs in 7 years, and one of the greatest QBs to ever play the game. Perhaps it's your own hatred blinding you, but this type of thing happens once in a life-time. You can continue to hate if you want to, but you should be appreciating this.


7:46 AM  
Anonymous PatsRule said...

Don't blame me, Sarah, if you sound like our president. The "yeah" doesn't make it right. Again, better=superior.
Oh, and I'm very bright. Can you spot the mixed modifier in this sentence of yours?
"Am I making sense, or should I only use words that are less than six letters long so that you can understand?"

1:51 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Sorry, Chip Dawg, but you're NOT the best team in NFL History. MSN Sports even verified it. Look at teams like the Bears, dumb ass. They suck this year, but in the past, they've been better than your Patriots ever will be. Oh- and I noticed you left out the fact that although you've won three Super Bowls in four years, neither of those Super Bowls were in the past two years. The only reason the Patriots have the record that they do is because they CHEAT. I have evidence to back me up. And one last thing- appreciate the Patriots? Excuse me? There's no way I'm going to back up a bunch of cheaters like the Pats. And don't even get me started on Tom Brady.

And PatsRule... no, I cannot spot the mixed modifier. Because I'm not going to waste my time correcting English mistakes on a blog. I wasn't aware that I was writing a formal letter. You should stop correcting mistakes and get upstairs- I'm sure your mother's got dinner waiting for you. (I wonder what you're going to do when you can't just live in her basement anymore?)

1:12 PM  

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