Monday, January 24, 2005

Disaster in Giftsburgh (continued)

It's cold and snowy outside. There's a spirit in the air. The gift of giving is on our minds. Does this mean that it's Christmas? No! It's that time of the year when some team gives away the AFC Championship to the New England Hatriots!

A brief review:
  • The 2001 AFC Championship: Pittsburgh generously hands out 3 fumbles, an interception, and even a punt return for a touchdown to the hapless Hatriots. The result: a 24-17 New England win that marks the beginning of our misery.
  • The 2003 AFC Championship: Peyton Manning catches the Christmas spirit, throwing a heart-warming 4 interceptions. We at IHTNEP later discover that Peyton is Ty Law's Secret Santa, personally gift-wrapping 3 of them for this thug of the defensive backfield.
  • The 2004 AFC Championship: The Giftsburgh Steelers are not to be outdone! 3 picks and a lost fumble get us once again in the gift-giving mood. Immediately afterwards, we phoned UNICEF and donated to the Ben Roethlisberger Missing Quarterback Search Fund.
So brace yourselves for the next few weeks, fellow Haters. The types of Hatriot Propaganda we'll be privy to:
  • Bill Belichick as "genius".
  • Tom Brady as the "most clutch QB in playoff history".
  • The term "Dynasty" used with reckless abandon to describe our beloved Hatriots.
So get out your Eagles hats! Maybe TO will be ready to play. Maybe McNabb will play the game of his life. And maybe, just maybe, the Eagles will give us something to squelch the vitriol that is coursing through our veins. We'll touch on all of these subjects and much more in the coming weeks in our incomparable, inimitable, much-maligned but oft-revered First Annual IHTNEP Super Bowl Preview.


Blogger TwoFacedCorey said...

I going to hold off on my Tom Brady is perfect comments for a few need to get myself all worked up two weeks before the Super Bowl...however I would like to provide further information on two of our most beloved Hatriots: Corey Dillon and Ty Law.

For those of you who don't know, there is a great, informative website out there, highlighting all the greatest accomplishments of many professional athletes. Not surprisingly, our favorite NFL running back has "a rap sheet the length of a Proust novel". While reading, you can learn all about Corey's favorite things to do: playing video games, driving under the influence, selling cocaine, and even beating his wife and kid, while at the same time telling everyone how unappreciated he was in Cincinnati.

Then there is our man Ty Law who like to relax with friends between games and enjoy a little Mary Jane and Ecstasy.

12:32 PM  
Blogger nastyboy said...

This site is Hilarious! The Pats are a dynasty and will continue to ruin this blog for you.

Go Patriots!!

5:10 PM  
Blogger Hater in Chief said...

IHTNEP appreciates nastyboy's encouragement. One small correction, though: the continued success of our beloved Hatriots does not ruin this blog - rather, it inspires us to new levels of enmity.

10:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You got NOTHING, not a friggin thing on the the Anti 49er site. That site freakin' rules. This is rather pathetic;(
Get some help dude, you are not good enought to go it alone.
You kinda suck at itactually...yeah, you do, definitly uber suckage. Like even more than your mom and she is a real me. WOW:) Sweet Jesus...cigarette please.

9:11 AM  
Blogger Hater in Chief said...

> You got NOTHING, not a friggin thing on the the Anti 49er site.
> That site freakin' rules. This is rather pathetic;(
> Get some help dude, you are not good enought to go it alone.
> You kinda suck at itactually...yeah, you do, definitly uber suckage. [rest deleted]

At IHTNEP, we work hard to spread the hate. However, we do not always meet up to the high standards set by our beloved readers. So we must again ask for your help - please donate to the site or buy a "Hater's Hat" to help the cause. It is only through your encouragement, praise, and yes, your dollars, that IHTNEP will reach its full potential. Thanks again for your comments.

2:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the pats arent the yankees (who really suck) for a few reasons. One being they (pats) do not have an asshole owner who throws around money like roethlisberger (who got super-gassed by the whole world) int's. jeter's a queer, brady has a hot g/f. the pats, unlike the yankees of the new millennium, don't blow 3 game leads when they have the chance. and also, i enjoy how you totally omit the 2004 divisional against mvp peyton manning and the "unstoppable" Colts offense. even with the 5-yard rule, they only scored 3 points, so please find another excuse to lose against a secondary that uses a wide receive as a cornerback and a linebacker as a saftey. all fans are fair weather fan anyways, so that really means nothing. rabble rabble rabble, bitch bitch bitch. grow up you crybabies, there is, like we've been saying in boston since the stone age, always next year.

6:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You losers are sadly losing your touch...I did not see one good comeback to ANY comments and your ignorance has left you blind to the fact that Tom Brady is one of, if not THE best quarterback ever. He got drafted in the 6th freakin round and didnt even start till crappy old bledsoe got injured, and if I'm not mistaken, he won the super bowl that year...Hmmmmmm...and dont even start on law and dillon because they arent there do some research and get your facts straight.

6:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find that these websites are full of just immature faggats trying to get attention, and in this case i'm right. dillon sucked, law left, so get over it... bill bellichek is a genius-you cant deny that and your crap filled eagles have nothing on the new england pats so wake up and smell the patriots DYNASTY at your feet.

6:37 PM  

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