IHTNEP Year End Awards

Well, my friends, that time of year has come, when all fans of IHTNEP must find other pursuits, new ways to spend their time, something to fill the void; yes, dear readers, it is time for the IHTNEP Off-Season Hiatus. Dry your tears, dear reader - we'll be back next season with our hatred fully intact.

But we do have a little business to take care of first. The film industry has the Oscars, television the Emmys; but these silly productions pale in comparison with what you're about to see; that's right, dear readers, it is now time for the IHTNEP Year-end Staff Awards! With so much effort put into maintaining this glorious site, how can we not spend a little time and thank those behind the scenes who make the magic happen?

We include some highlights below. For each award, we also present snippets from the transcript of the commentary that took place during the IHTNEP Year-end Staff Awards dinner.

The Most Likely To Be Killed By Corey Dillon award

Commentary: No surprise here - TwoFacedCorey brings Corey hatred to new levels, and someday it might cost him. Check this page our for an example of the animosity that could come back to haunt dear TwoFaced someday.

The Most Likely To Pull His Hammy award

Commentary: A repeat winner; PapaGordy owns this category. (IHTNEP note: we apologize for the graphic imagery)

The Missing-In-Action Award

Commentary: Who the hell is Robin Masters?

The Best Zinger Award

Commentary: So much to choose from here, but the winner was clear. Watch out, lame posters to this site, or you'll feel the Zing! (or should we say the Burn?)

The Best Fan of IHTNEP Award

No winner.

Commentary: Once again, no entries in this category.

So there you have it, folks. Let's have some applause. Bringing this much hatred can take something out of a person, so it's important to let the staff know that they're making a difference. (Of course, you can always show your appreciation through financial means, for example, by buying a Hater's hat.) Either way, it is you, dear reader, that get the final nod: the IHTNEP Endurance Award, given, of course, for those who have read just a single word or have suffered through all of the postings with us. So tell your friends, your neighbors, your mother; you earned it and should definitely feel proud.

Let The Whine-asty Begin

Has there ever been a winning team that so consistently espoused the belief that no one respects them? A team that while winning three SuperBore Titles still pretends to be the underdog? The Hatriots take the old sports cliche of feigning disrespect as a motivational tool to new levels. Witness:

• Willie McGinest after the Disaster in Giftsburgh: "Nobody respected us coming into this game". Uhh, Willie, weren't you actually favored by three points, even though the game was in Giftsburgh and the Steelers took you to the woodshed just a few weeks back?
  
• Rodney Harrison before the SuperBore: "Nobody respects the players on this team." Hmm, Rodney, didn't six Patriots make the Pro Bowl? And don't forget that we should all congratulate Rodney on being awarded the MDP Award for being the NFL's Most Dirty Player. Reporter: "Hey Rodney, you won the MDP award, are you going to Disneyland?" Rodney: Separates reporter's head from neck with vicious spear tackle.
  
• Tom Brady on respect: "Aw, shucks."

Hence, IHTNEP believes a new term needs to be coined to describe this unique "champion" squad. A term that aptly characterizes a team that snuck out not one, not two, but three SuperBore titles by an impressive cumulative 9 points. A team that takes whining while winning to new and preposterous heights. You heard it here first: The Hatriots are officially a Whine-asty.

Coming soon: More SuperBore coverage, some final thoughts on this disastrous season, and the highly-anticipated year-end IHTNEP staff awards!

Battle Of The Quarterbacks: McNabb vs. Brady

The IHTNEP First Annual Superbowl Preview continues!

We begin our positional breakdown with a focus on the guys who head each offense: the lion-hearted leader of the Eagles, Donovan McNabb, and that All-American Caricature, Tom Brady. IHTNEP suspects the game will likely turn on play of these field generals.

To get some insight on this matchup, IHTNEP unearthed some little publicized previous battles between these two. The first took place back in 1998, where a McNabb-led Syracuse Orangemen smashed the Brady-led Wolverines, 38-20, in the Big House no less. A bit painful for this Wolverine fan to dredge up, but perhaps a portent of things to come?

The second is a more recent match-up:






In this classic confrontation, Brady commands the Hershey's squad, whereas McNabb leads the Reese's team. As even the most ardent Hatriot fan can attest, the peanut-butter laden cup of chocolatey heaven clearly outperforms the woeful waxy brick known as a Hershey's chocolate bar.

So what have we learned? In two past performances, McNabb has taken Brady to the woodshed. Perhaps Sunday will make for a trifecta - IHTNEP can only hope.

IHTNEP Super Bowl Preview: Predictions

We begin our First Annual IHTNEP Superbowl Preview with IHTNEP staff predictions for the big game!





As one might observe, our anti-Hatriot picking strategy has not been as successful as one might hope. We remember fondly the glorious season of 1970, where we were each a Swami-like 14-2; playing the "savage game of football" in historic Harvard stadium, the mighty Hatriots stumbled through this memorable season, winning a humbling two games. Those were the days, my friends.

Tune in tomorrow as we breakdown the matchups between the heroic Eagles and our beloved Hatriots.