Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Random Hatred, Mockery, Etc.

Top Ten, Baby: CBS Top Ten New England Patriot Excuses
  • 10. What? It's best of seven
  • 9. Too much pre-game chowder
  • 8. Since when is that dude allowed to catch a ball with his head?
  • 7. Terrified by that Fox football robot
  • 6. Everything was fine 'til Dr. Phil decided to straighten us out
  • 5. Should have campaigned harder in Florida
  • 4. Entire team stayed up late the night before watching Hannah Montana concert movie
  • 3. Exhausted after spending hours consoling a weepy Terrell Owens
  • 2. Thought game was supposed to be played on Super Tuesday
  • 1. Airline lost our 'roids

19-0 merchandise: Too brutal. Amazon, sorry about this not working out:


19-0 Book Cover Shot: Tom is still shouting, just for different reasons.

Also, apparently the Patriots are finally doing some good for the world. According to this story:
Shirts, sweatshirts and hats, all printed with the Patriots as the Super Bowl winners, arrived at the World Vision warehouse in Sewickley on Tuesday.

Many of the shirts say "19-0" -- a reference to the Pats' quest for a perfect record. Instead, the Giants' victory ended the AFC champions' season at 18-1.

The losers' gear will be packed and sent to third-world countries by World Vision, which works to improve the lives of poor children in more than 100 countries.

The poor people of these countries will thus be wearing "19-0" shirts around, thus cruelly mocking a team they may never have heard of.

INEPT apologizes to all poor people who can't fork over $15 or so for one of these fine shirts:


T-Shirts: Not for free, sorry! Buy one here!

Odd Shakespearean Stuff: NPR shouldn't do it football. Really, they shouldn't. But they did. Some selections:
The Players: Sideline Wench, a reporter for the Duchy of Fox; Kornheisercranz, herald; Wilbonstern, herald; Brady, a fair-haired boy; Eli, a boy; reporters, bloggers, correspondents, cameramen, soundmen, hangers-on, sycophants, small children throwing rose petals.

It gets worse:
Wilbonstern: But look now, who approaches from yon other way?
'Tis young Eli, who seems, in his manner, yet a boy,
No match for such a paragon as the dauntless Brady.

Paragon, my ass. But "Kornheisercranz" was more on the mark:

Kornheisercranz: 'Tis so, he is yet more Manning than man,
But the football blood that fills that callow vessel
Is as royal as Brady ever bought to his captured throne.
Eli is the seed of the sainted Archie
And thus branch from the same tree as Peyton,
He, who made stallions of Colts but twelvemonth past.
Mayhap the lad can, with a pigskin, find the same mark
Little David did when bookies of yore favored huge Goliath.

Goliath: 18 wins, and 1 deadly stone to the head. David wins! I always thought Kornheiser was better than Wilbon, even before the heart attack.

Interview: Another interview with our buddy t.k. The questions:
1. Giants win super bowl 42: Shocking or Expected?
2. The Patriots dynasty will crumble because many Patriots will be leaving and retiring.
3. The Giants have a shot at repeating next season?
4. The Better QB: Eli or Peyton?
5. THe Best playoff QB of all time.

Answers here. We'll probably do an interview with t.k. sometime, so we can figure out who he is exactly.

Mathematica: A mathematical view of the Patriot season:


The Mathematics of Imperfection


Those F***ing Patriots: A nice clip from the YouTubes. Found here, pointed out to us by Patriot Hater Dave H. Enjoy!


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22 Comments:

Blogger Jay said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you serious? the only reason you fags are jealous is because this team is unstoppable in their prime. and their prime has lasted for roughly 5 years. 4 trips to the super bowl, 3 wins and the year un between, we were knocked out on the last plaoff game. if we win enxt year that will be the 5TH record broken (never mind tied) by the team. this team is better than the 72 dolphins....not by much but we are. and bill belichick is the best coach in the nfl history..you cannot beat that. the combination of bellichick, brady. maroney and moss is an inpeccable offense. and on defense, mike vrabel, richard seymour, junior seau, tedy bruschi and adalus thomas are a brick wall. dont even get me started on the secondary.

8:24 PM  
Anonymous steelerfan4life said...

anonymous.
Sorry your patriots team this year was not even a championship caliber team only the truly elite teams win the SuperBowl. Fine team sure. Probably in the top 100 or so of all time.
In the midst of the SuperBowl fallout, I thought maybe it would be appropriate to make a few Patriot based predictions for the future.
Swami sez:
After extension investigation, it was determined that not only did belicheat illegally tape the SuperBowl against the Rams but that it constituted criminal behavior. After a lengthy trial, Belicheat is sentenced to 3 years in a Federal Prison where his roommate turns out to be Michael Vick.A romance soon ensues as Belicheat discovers he cannot resist Michael Vick's 'man love'
"The way I see it" says Vick " He screwed the Jets, The Browns,the raiders the Rams and virtually every other NFL team so i figure its up to me to return the favor"
As for Tom Brady, giselle, deciding she doesn't want to waste time with a loser(she is just that kind of gal after all) dumps Brady for a real man. Her efforts prove fruitless, however, when Eli Manning turns her down because as I quote
"No matter how many showers she took, I just couldn't get the stench of Brady off of her"
Anyone Pat fans who gets too upset over these comments needs to get a life. All year long, you've relished in the miseries of others so let us Hatriots have our fun.
to the classy pats fans: laugh with us
to the vast majority of pats fans: we laugh not with you but at you

9:41 PM  
Blogger Dave H said...

Hater in Chief, glad you enjoyed that video, it is really a creative and poingant piece of youtube hatred.

And let me for the first time finally congratulate GiantsFaninNE! You stayed strong in the comments section, and your team came through in the end.

I hereby nominate Dan Snyder to sign all the good Patriots free agents away, including Moss and Samuel. They can keep Senior Seau 'cause he blows.

10:04 AM  
Anonymous GiantsfaninNE said...

Thanks Dave H! I'm still flying high from this victory!

12:57 PM  
Anonymous FredTaylorFan said...

Haters:
I have a question???????...After the game belichick commented...

"I don't rank them. It's disappointing," said Belichick

What did he mean? Was he talking about his own team and if so---shouldn't he at least have been proud of their accomplishment in getting to the Super Bowl?
Was he referring to the Giants? If so isn't that an act of extreme poor sportsmanship?
Have I misunderstood his comment? Why hasn't the media made more out of that? At best, his comment showed selfishness at worst it was downright arrogant.
Let me know...

6:34 PM  
Anonymous GiantsfaninNE said...

I believe, and I'm no Pats fan, but I believe he was ranking the loss. If it is the loss,s then the comment was fine. That might be why we haven't heard more about the comment. I watched every single moment of the post-game (being a Giants fan and all) and I do think that's what he was talking about.

2:42 AM  
Blogger Dave H said...

Yes, I think that's what he was saying.

Which is typical, obviously it was the WORSE loss ever for Bilichick, but he will never just come out and say it.

Just read that they might Franchise Tag Randy Moss. But Gay is determined to test the market. What will Haters do without New England actually having a player named "Gay" on the team?

9:27 AM  
Anonymous fredtaylorfan said...

Thanks Dave and Giant Fan:
it looks like I totally misconstrued belichick's comment. I guess I am so conditioned to Belicheat taking the low road that I jumped to a false conclusion. thanks for replying to my question

7:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous is an Uber Fag said...

Quote: "are you serious? the only reason you fags are jealous is because this team is unstoppable in their prime. and their prime has lasted for roughly 5 years. 4 trips to the super bowl, 3 wins and the year un between, we were knocked out on the last plaoff game. if we win enxt year that will be the 5TH record broken (never mind tied) by the team. this team is better than the 72 dolphins....not by much but we are. and bill belichick is the best coach in the nfl history..you cannot beat that. the combination of bellichick, brady. maroney and moss is an inpeccable offense. and on defense, mike vrabel, richard seymour, junior seau, tedy bruschi and adalus thomas are a brick wall. dont even get me started on the secondary."


Hold on, Hold On a second. Wait, so YOU think we hate the Patriots because they were a good team? You think much too highly of yourself and your team. All of your above points are completely pointless, seeing that those teams were all robbed by Mr. Adam Vinatieri's field goals. So Shut the Fuck up, and remember to pick up your small brain on the way out the door.

Fucking Stupid ass Motherfucker. If you really think about it, either your brain will explode with effort, or you will realize what I just said is completely right.

And dont give me shit about "Oh Tom Brady and the Pats brought vinatieri within field goal range, and point range" because thats bullshit. If they wanted it more, they could have got it in the endzone.

The same also goes for the Giants win. Im happy they finally owned the Patriots, but the 3 point difference pisses me off.

11:02 AM  
Anonymous GiantsfaninNE said...

I can't get over how back into their shells all the Patriots fans have gone. I couldn't say ANYTHING on this blog without being trashed by all of them and, then the Giants beat 'em and voila! they are gone! I guess there's nothing left to brag about, thank God.

3:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, this is shit is why people hate the Patriots. If they win, everything is great...Thay can sit there and brag about themselves. Lose, and all of a sudden they are missing the Pro Bowl. Brady I can SORT of see. The baby had a sore ankel...Cant hack taking a hit I guess... Maybe he should look for a new line of work. But Moss, now I wonder why he is missing it. HHMMMMM.. Like I said when they got Moss in the first place....everything will be great as long as they are winning, once they lose, WATCH OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh boy...yeah going undefeated means a lot I tells ya!! And of course we cant forget about Brady's WONDERFUL comment about Buress' 23-17 prediction...Maybe you should have given the Giants defence a little more credit you pomposs asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...Sit down and shut your mouth, or we will shut it for you...Oh wait, Giants defence already did.

6:41 AM  
Anonymous Alright, anonymous.... said...

Wow you are a moron!

I wish you had some of Giantsfan's loyalty to her team, or even some loyalty to hatred, to come here and write that when the Pats hadn't lost a game. Funny we hadn't seen you on here before...?

Oh wait...you're a Hater....that of course means you have no spine.

I should have known.

1:36 PM  
Blogger Dave H said...

Yes, all the Patty Pats of the world have all but disappeared from this board.

Chip Dawg, this one goes out to you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP3bmuYyH0s

I miss you. And your dumbass comments, hahahahaha...

9:46 PM  
Anonymous Jake said...

I miss it when you would just hide and cower in fear of our onslaught and not come on this board and say shit.

Oh well. There's always next year.

1:06 PM  
Anonymous mike said...

i love that the perfect season was ruined. i can't stand the patriots.
i also found a sweet shirt that might go well with your other shirts you are showcasing. i bought this one a couple months ago when the "play call stealing scandal" hit.....cheaters never win. screw the patriots!

http://notredone.com/ndheypastths.html

9:53 AM  
Anonymous srd said...

Taping since 2000 = Dynasty Debunked.

Where are you guys now!? chip, patsfan, "anonymous?" Please give me a brief summary of your argument, I believe it used to be titled "The 2007-2008 Patriots are the best team ever!"...oh right even you guys don't believe that anymore.

9:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No we still do, my dear moron.

You're just in denial of it! :)

And it always will be like that. Sadly.

2:27 PM  
Anonymous Sore Losers Make Me Smile said...

Yes, we know, Pats fan. 18 and 1 is a great record...on paper. Thank you Giants, for restoring believability to football!

See you idiot Pats fans next year. Hopefully your team will try (in vain) to erase the fact that their only title will now be...

Biggest Chokers in Pro Sports History (even bigger than the Vikings!)

Put that in your dumbassed book, Boston Globe.


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

4:27 PM  
Anonymous srd said...

you still think the pats are the best team ever, even despite them not being the best team in the NFL in the 07/08 season...I'm the moron, right.

5:35 PM  
Anonymous 18*-1 cheaters never prosper said...

the football Gods have answered everyone's prayer with the patriots loss in the superbowl. Too bad the pats blew the biggest game that could have gave them a shot at eternity. I can't stand the patriots and the patriot fans with their arrogant attitude and always pulling the respect card, also the fact that they are led by a cheating coach doesn't exactly bold well for their "dynasty". At least the cheatiot fans can take solace in the fact that the loser of the superbowl won't be forgotten b/c they have the honorable distinction of going undefeated until the superbowl in which everyone will remember.

3:55 AM  
Anonymous Cheatriots suck said...

I absolutely love this page! Everyone knows the cheatriots are a bunch of classless fans and players who suddenly came to the forefront.

11:06 AM  

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