Hatriots: Champions of the North

New England (INEPT) - Now that they have beaten the paper Lions of Detroit, we can officially crown their asses. Yes, my friends, the Hatriots are the champions of the mighty NFC North.



Belichoke: King of AFC Least and NFC North


INEPT spoke to NFL representatives this past weekend to uncover the reason for the bizarre scheduling of the entire NFC North against the Hatriots. "Isn't it enough that they play in the AFC Least, one of the worst divisions in the league?" League official Jeffrey Pash replied: "The league wanted to see if the NFC North was as bad as the AFC Least. And these games have proved it: both divisions just plain stink."

An anonymous tipster from inside the NFL offices hinted at the real reason the Hatriots schedule is chock full of bad teams. "If you're going to have one boring, bad team in a game, you might as well have two. Maybe the games will be close that way, even if they're not exciting."

In further investigations (not yet confirmed), INEPT also discovered that next year's Hatriot schedule may include select teams from the SEC.