Thursday, October 20, 2005

Hail Troy!

We take a break from our regularly scheduled
Hatred to bring you an installment from the
Hatriot Alumni Club (HAC). Today's HAC'er:
former offensive coordinator Chuckie
"I'm not too" Weis
. And it's not just his
hair cut that is so offensive.

After weeks of hype and buildup, we find
that the Flailing Irish are 4-2 and giving
up nearly 400 yards per game. Perhaps this
Weis-guy should give his old pal Juliet
a call and ask about that thing
that is known as "the opposite of offense".
As the Bard famously penned, "Defense,
Defense, where art thou, Irish Defense?"

INEPT particularly enjoyed watching the
Irish bumble the game away against the
Heroes from Troy, giving up a 70-yard
pass on 4th and 9 and then managing to
"win" the game ("the clock ran down to 0!")
and then lose it moments later. The look on
former Hatriot un-Weis's face
will remain
in the INEPT Hall of Agony for years
to come. At least Chuckie's still got
his health!

Coming soon: INEPT describes (with glee) how
the Hatriots were dismantled in what is now
referred to around the league as the
Mile-High Massacre.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Dear Mike Vick

Dear Mike Vick,

Where were you when INEPT needed you?
A rare chance to put a dagger in the
heart of the wretched Hatriots, and
you are nowhere to be found in a 31-28
Did your tummy hurt?
Or perhaps you had a boo-boo?

Vick said he was "feeling positive"
about playing against the Beleaguered
Hatriots, who, due to numerous injuries,
are down to three players on the active
. Yet when game time came,
Mikey was nowhere to be found.
What's the matter, Mikey, don't you like
playing football? Wait, don't answer that.
INEPT has scoured the globe and indeed
we found that Mikey likes it.

The INEPT Team

p.s. use your $12M bonus to buy
some more syllables for your name.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Proof that God Exists: 41-17

The debate rages on.

On one side, science, and Darwinian evolution.

On the other side, religion, now in the form
of intelligent design.

Does God exist, INEPT wonders?

We need wonder no more. "Why?", the INEPT reader asks.
How can INEPT be so certain?

Look no further than San Diego's epic mauling
of our beloved Hatriots
. Can such a blessed
occurance arise without a Divine presence?

Tom Brady Finally Gets It Right

Not much to say after the Disaster in Giftsburgh III.

However, Tom Brady finally got it right after the game.
A heartfelt INEPT congrats to Tom Brady for this rare moment of insight!

Walking off the field, a smug grin plastered on his face,
Brady yelled ''They hate us. They hate us here. But we love it."

Yes, Tom, they do hate you, and so does the Hater Nation
here at INEPT.