Monday, September 22, 2008

More Mailbag!

Madison (INEPT) - The letters keep flowing. They make a simple point, repeatedly. It is best summarized by John:
I am a frequent visitor to and an avid hater. Ever since the 2001 AFC Championship I have hated Belichick and Brady more than life itself.

I figured there would be tons of updates after the start of the NFL season and especially with Brady going out for the season, but nothing. I waited a week to see if there would be any updates and couldn't stand it any longer. Please tell me the site will live on. It has to.


Dear John (and others): There is a simple reply to this. Have we been sitting around, doing nothing, while this new football season lives on? No, John, no sir.

Have we been sleeping? Well, maybe.

So, the astute reader might ask, what exactly have we been doing? Simple. We have been mustering our troops, reinforcing our weaknesses. The game films are being broken down, and new strategies being formed. Questions? They are being answered. Doubts? Removed. And now, after the new Undefeated season has again become Defeated (by the mighty Fins, no less), we are summarized by one clear word: Back. That's right, our friends. We. Are. Back.

More mail, this time from long-time reader, first-time mailbagger Joe:
Was injuring Brady really necessary, hex man?
Well, this is at least an easy one to answer. Yes. First, we tried simple curses. No luck. Then, a series of prayers, one in each of the major religions. Apparently, those gods have no ears for such desires. Finally, a successful strategy:

How Tom's Injury Happened

A simple poke to the knee, and we were done. And to all you Haters out there: you're welcome.

Finally, a more business-minded letter. Bryan writes:
I am interested in purchasing one to two simple text links on your website's homepage. How much would you charge for that?
How much, for access to the legions of Haters out there that this site has so carefully bred over these past four years? How much, for direct connect to an army of T-shirt buying, bad-website-reading, probably jobless teenagers? How much, you ask? Well, not much. Make an offer.

We're in the Money.

Coming soon: A discussion of the Fiasco in FloridaFoxboro. The ghosts of the '72 Dolphins seem to be alive and kicking.

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