Monday, December 11, 2006

Hatriots Score Zero Million Points

Miami (INEPT) - In a game to be cherished, adored, and in general, watched again and again, the Miami Endangered Fish thumped the hapless Hatriots, 21 to 0.

However, even more interesting was the post-game interview, when a defensive Coach Bill Belichoke tried to spin the results, repeatedly iterating that his team "scored zero million points."


O'Reilly To Belichoke: How To Spin Bad News

"I'm not sure what you all are complaining about," yelled Belichoke. "After all, how often does a team score zero million points?!"

Quarterback Tom 'Fraidy agreed: "This is just another example of the media blowing things out of proportion. After all, our game plan called for us to score just about zero million points, and that is exactly what we did. In fact, if you look at the league average in team scoring, it is just about zero million points."

In related news, the Hatriots petitioned the league for a rule change to allow mind-numbingly boring teams to throw multiple forward passes on each play. "How else is a team as offensively-challenged as we are supposed to score?" uttered the relieved-looking defensive coordinator Dean Pees.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Josh Howard said...

I have said it time and time again....This is the greatest blog site EVER!

Being a FinFan, I love this site more then life itself. The only thing I love more was watching the Fins hold the hated Patriots to a 'giant goose egg' last Sunday. Pure domination.

Now, there is pretty boy Tom Brady talking trash to a team that just ate his liver for lunch. Hey Tom...News flash! Teams are starting to realize that when they blitz your sorry ass...it works! I have always said that Brady is nothing like the greats (Marino, Elway, Favre) and can easily get rattled with a bit of pressure. The Fins, Jets, Broncos, Colts have figured it out and other teams like the Bills are coming to realize that he is a 'nobody' without a perfect pocket and some dumb luck.

Say hello to the Patriots demise. It is just a matter of time now.

Fins 4-Life

7:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you know what is extrememly funny? You've spent all this time, creating this Web site. Adding all your nifty little photoshopped pictures. Obviously spending countless hours pouring over sports stories about the Patriots so that you can create this masterpiece, and yet, a mere handful--like 4--people actually comment on your ridiculous blogs. It's quite sad, really. I picture you seated in your parents' basement, with a glass of Coke, surfing the Web for all the pics and articles you can find on the Pats ... deep in to the wee hours of the night. And yet, no one comes to witness your hard work. How truly, deeply saddening that is. See, if you actually wrote about football. Ya know, FOOTBALL, instead of spouting out pure hatred (over what? I might ask), then people, someone might actually take you seriously. Cuz see, the truth is that there is no reason for anyone to hate the Pats. Yeah, they're boring cuz they don't pull T.O.'s and DO ANYTHING to hog the limelight. They aren't flashy like a Chad Johnson or Tomlinson because each one of them is groomed, trained in a team philosophy. No one player gets all the glory. That's why during almost any given game, Brady is fanning the ball out to 7, 8, 10 different receivers. WHo else in the NFL does that successfully? That's why the defensive players can change positions at a moment's notice to fill in for injured teammates. Again, who else does that? That's why, whether you and your 3 menion followers like it or not, the Pats will finish the season out in a way that will make all us Pats fans proud. You can guarantee that! GO PATS!

2:58 PM  
Blogger Hater in Chief said...

Dear Josh,

You are the greatest fan of this site EVER! We welcome all Fins Fans; they are sure to understand where our hatred stems from.

- The INEPT Staff

5:57 PM  
Blogger Hater in Chief said...

Dear Anonymous,

We seriously spend very little time on this blog, but do know this: just the thought of one Hatriot fan (such as yourself) seeing this site and slowly working him/herself into a lather, blathering on about "team philosophy" and other hallmarks of Hatriot boredom, well, that is enough for us. Just to get that one response, my friend, is what we live for. Thank you for making our day.

Also, anyone who refers to our photoshop efforts as "nifty" clearly does not understand how bad of a job we do with our graphics.

Thanks for your continued support!

- The INEPT Staff

6:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO! INEPT? I get it :) Any fan of any other team besides the Patriots is rooting for an INEPT team, cause more often than not they lose against the Patriots.

The joke is on anyone posting and trying to be serious "Haters" against the Pats. I peobably shoudnt have told you all that, but allot of you are probably too stupid to even figure out anything I just said anyways.

How about that game against the Titans Dec 31st? We did what 6 teams prior to us couldnt do and by a wide margin I might add, by beating the Titans at Home.. Lets see, which teams lost to the Titans for 6 weeks in a row?

Blitzes you say? WOW!, thats a real new concept in the NFL.. The Pats have ZERO million points chance of going all the way this year:) Would you bet your life on that? I wouldnt.

8:48 AM  
Anonymous Josh Howard said...

Dear Anonymous:

Man… that post was one of the sloppiest pieces of work I have ever read and you called us ‘too stupid’.

Yes, you beat the Titans. Congratulation! I was wrong… the Patriots are the best team ever based on the fact that they beat Tennessee in week seventeen. As a matter of fact, the NFL should just cancel the playoffs and give the Lombardi Trophy to ‘big fat’ Bob Kraft ASAP. Not only did you beat the Titans, but you also beat the Lions who beat the Cowboys who beat the Colts who beat the Broncos who beat the Ravens who beat the Chargers… so...the only conclusion I can come to is that you are the best team in the NFL. It really is that simple.

Good luck in the playoff and hopefully New England gets another B.S. ‘tuck rule’ type call or a Drew Bennett drop that propels them into another borathon of a Super Bowl.

7:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay so did the tuck rule propel them into the two other Super Bowls? And oh yes what's wrong with calling someone 'too stupid'? It's how you're supposed to say it.

Sincerely,
Not the same Anonymous

1:38 PM  
Anonymous Ne rocks said...

The national patrot antheme





O say can't you see?
The patriots are the best
What so many haters, that are now such pusses
Who can't say a word and trys for next year
What so proud to be a hater, that is now really one
And the haters red glare, the fans bursting in air
Gave prove through the night, that our team was still there
O say does that Patriots flag was there still wave?
O the land of the NFL, and the home of the.............


PATRIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

18-0

7:25 PM  

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