The game, so memorable. The final result, so sweet. We must recall each precious moment, lest we forget this beautiful, wonderous, magnificent result.
Things That Mattered:
- The Colts didn't panic: Ran the ball plenty of times. Note to Sham Diego: run the ball! Oddly enough, Cam Cameron's punishment for forgetting about the best running back in the league? A promotion!
- The ball finally bounced the right way (sometimes): Admit it: when Logan Manchild scored on a fumble, you thought: here we go again. But suddenly, the Colts return the favor! (the Rhodes to Saturday connection!) And then, Reggie "John" Wayne catches his own fumble mid-air! (yes, it wouldn't have mattered thanks to the hit on the helmet, but still).
- The Colts end-of-game clock management: Brilliant! Why didn't Mike Martz think of that back in Super Bowl XLI? Oh yeah, because he is an arrogant fool that started this whole mess (the Hatriot Whine-asty).
- The pressure from Freeney: No big sacks of Brady, but one time Brady just goes down when he feels Freeney coming near him, and on the penultimate play, when Brady throws the pick to Marlin Jackson (now an official INEPT hall-of-famer), Brady rushes as Freeney closes in on him. Without Freeney, Tom takes his time, hits three more passes, wins the game, crushes our souls. With Freeney, Tom hurries, Colts win. Colts WIN!
- Bob Sanders: Bob also gets into the INEPT Hall of Fame for his role in this game. Amazing! His play throughout, of course, gets a nod, but the big play was stopping the old 'Fraidy-to-Troy connection, getting the Colts the ball back. Pure magic.
Colts didn't panic, either
Reggie "John" Wayne: Our lucky hero
Colts are smarter than Martz
Guess what? Freeney is awesome
Bob Sanders: Future INEPT Hall of Famer?
Things That Didn't Matter
- Colts cheerleaders changed outfits at halftime: Seriously, they did. We don't think it mattered, though. Probably
- Reche dropped some passes: After the first big drop in the endzone, the Hatriots scored anyway (the tippy-toe "were his feet really in?" "that is such a stupid rule" catch in the back of the endzone). So no big deal. The other one, with him "wide open", probably would have gained 6 or 8 yards (Colts safety was closing fast).
- Reche does funny things with his eyes: What the heck was that dude doing with his eyes? He looked like that guy Kenneth on American idol:
- The Hatriot Flu bug: The Flu was to blame, some say. We say: are you serious? Big players step up. Remember Michael Jordan? The Utah Jazz certainly do.
- Supposed "Bad Calls" on Hatriots:Example #1: The late hit call on the Hatriots: Many whiners claim this was a big play. Really, it was a 10-yard difference. Probably just would have taken a little more time off the clock. Example #2: The pass interference call. Was it interference? Maybe, maybe not. Should the defender have turned his head? Of course, otherwise he is begging to get flagged. Do the Hatriots interfere regularly? Yes. What goes around comes around, they say.
Before, After: Losing The Chaps A Key To Victory?
Butterfinger: You can actually buy this from Amazon.com
Reche, Kenneth: Whose Eyes Are Stranger?
A flu bug, or Coach Belichoke: You make the call
This ref says: Sorry Hatriots
Prediction Recap: INEPT had the game at Colts 38, Hatriots 17. So we got it half right. Just didn't expect Manning to be so generous (he is a southern gentleman after all), or Ellis Hobbs to go crazy on every kickoff return. Colts outgained the Hatriots by 50% in yardage, which would indicate a game that wasn't as close as the final score might indicate.
Coming soon: the induction ceremony for the INEPT Hall of Fame. Nominations are being taken as we speak. Get your nomination in today!