Monday, April 30, 2007

Draft Recap: Hatriots show true American Spirit

New England (INEPT) - From the famous poem found at the base of the Statue of Liberty:

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

Little did we know: Bill Belichoke has a Statue of Liberty fantasy. It is he who asks for these poor, wretched footballers to come his way (see Dillon, Meriweather, Moss). It is he who lifts the lamp beside his golden door. Bill Belichoke, you sweet husky man, open your gates and let those "yearning to breathe free" come and play for your golden boy's squad!


No, we are not good at Photoshop

Lest you forgot, first-round selection Brandon Meriweather's claim to fame:






Watch for the Stomping Action!

And of course, it is not too challenging to list the many reasons Moss is one of the wretched:


Meet Randy, Denny's new Sponsor for "Moons over my Hammy"

There is so much material here to work with! Thank you, sweet Statue of Belichick! You are a true soul, searching for new ways to fill this blog with the Hatred and Mockery you so richly deserve.

Coming soon: Moss vs Meriweather Grudge Match.

30 Comments:

Blogger Stephen said...

It's going to be an interesting year

7:52 AM  
Anonymous PaulC said...

Hehehehehehe...

We got Randy for a 4th round pick and he even took a $6 million pay cut.

We've got nothing to lose, and the rest of the NFL is gonna get an ass whoopin.

10:19 AM  
Anonymous Josh Howard said...

Good to be back…Sorry about the hiatus over the past month or so. It is so great to see this blog spot heating up again. I figured that the activity level would pick back up considering the Patriots recent off-season commotions.

Public perception is that New England has cleaned up this spring and is bound for another Super Season. However, not so fast Patsies. This type of spending spree has never worked (see Washington Redskins and Los Angeles Lakers), especially when you dump all of your money into the receiver position. Do they plan on playing a six receiver set with Moss, Stallworth, Welker, Gaffney, Caldwell and Washington? Also, beside Welker, which one of these prima donna receivers is going to play on special teams?? I can see Mr. Randall Moss volunteering to be the ‘Gunner’ on the kickoff team, right after he lights up a blunt to smoke with his new friend Donte’. Also, not to pooh-pooh on your Patriot party, but I remember hearing Philadelphia Eagle fans singing the praises of Terrell Owens moral resurrection when he was traded to Philly a few years back. That turned out well, didn’t it??

As for the 2007 season, I am cannot wait for the opening kickoff. No more excuses for the vastly overrated Tom Brady. No more ‘well, he doesn’t have any capable receivers’ or ‘he puts up numbers despite having no offensive help’. However, the real reason that I am looking forward to the season is because when the Patriots do fall flat on their faces, I will be the first one to point fingers and say “I told you so”.

Good luck to the bandwagon jumping New England fans. Hopefully they live up to these high expectations, because when your beloved Patriots shit themselves and underachieve there will be no more excuses and the future will look bleak- once again. Love live the hate…

12:38 PM  
Anonymous The Patriots Suck said...

This is the spirit of America... The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Why the hell would they need so many WR's? Let's take a look, shall we?

Randy Moss, Reche Caldwell, Wes Welker, Chad Jackson, Kelvin Kight, Donte' Stallworth, Jabar Gaffney, Kelley Washington, Bam Childress, and Jonathon Smith. Let's count them. That's 10 WRs! I guess with 10 WR's and a QB, Brady can't complain about not having a receiver...

6:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great. Now i have to hear all offseason about how the Patriots are already the champions even though a down isn't even played.

9:54 PM  
Blogger Stephen said...

I'm not going that far, just that it should be an interesting year

Also, why do people keep talking about how much money they dumped on wide receivers?

They picked up Randy Moss and Donte Stallworth for about 7 Million dollars. That's really going to break the ole' bank

6:08 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

Wow I did a Google search for the term Jack Ass and this site was the only thing that came up in the search.

So IM here and read your cry baby, jealous, misinformed blog and now understand why when typing in the term Jack Ass in a search engine this site comes up. I bet you’re a Denver Bronco’s fan or San Diego Charges fan for that matter.

Let me ask you this, Are you aware that there is an NFL salary cap?

And that all teams in the NFL must abide by this salary cap rule

And that it is a rule that has been in effect for many years

So let me now ask you, are the Patriots cheating in your mind?
And if they are explain your self

What in your mind are the Patriots doing that no other NFL team is doing? Same rules are everywhere
I my self as a Pats fan could not be happier then I was after them picking up Moss and even more happy because us New England fans have the best coach in all of the NFL ever. . . . .

Jealous only causes hate which you have.

Then again if I were not a New England Patriots fan I could see and preach what you have and feel the same way you do. But what good would it do it only comes back to the term Jack Ass for having this kind of blog

GO PATRIOTS

12:07 PM  
Blogger Hater in Chief said...

> Wow I did a Google search for the term
> Jack Ass and this site was the only
> thing that came up in the search.

I searched for Jack Ass and all I got was a bunch of links to a crappy movie -- oh well.

- Hater in Chief

12:17 PM  
Blogger Richard said...

Crap your right,

You came under the term

“Ball of useless information”

I hope this helps

GO PATRIOTS

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Belichick is a dick. Just read this article about Ted Johnson:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/02/sports/football/02concussions.html?ex=1328072400&en=cecc72e8c4ebf740&ei=5089&partner=rssyahoo&emc=rss

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stupid blogger. Here is the article about Belichick destroying a man's life

2:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

San Diego Charges? Charges what? If you're going to insult people, at least use correct grammar and spelling so you don't look as idiotic as the people who don't know how to turn their caps lock off. And, this site is for Patriots haters. Why come on a site like this if you're a Patriots fan? Then again, if you think the San Diego Charges is a football team...

2:10 PM  
Blogger Richard said...

What you can spell Bill Belichoke on this site but I can’t spell San Diego Charges
All I was trying to do is speak the English of this blog.

So I was right about Charges fans here I can see that.

3:37 PM  
Blogger Stephen said...

Here is the article about Belichick destroying a man's life

That story does suck, but Johnson certainly helped ruin his own life, by failing to report concussion after concussion

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Zack said...

The Pats have a salary cap just like every other NFL team. They signed Moss to a contract that they can easily back out of, if he starts with his shit. so it was a good deal for the pats. Cant wait for the season.

5:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your Fudge Packers have not won anything important since the good old days of your ex drug addicted QB Brett Favre and his lovely running back MR. Vicodin.

1:47 PM  
Anonymous The Toad said...

Richard has made himself look even more moronic with his second post, which, aside from having sucky grammar, also makes no sense at all. He makes a typo and tries to say that a pun like "Belichoke" is the same thing? Are all Patriots fans as idiotic as he is? They must be, since they constantly blind themselves to the fact that everyone on their entire team is an asshole. The Patriots are a greedy organization despite the salary cap. I bet all these fans despised Moss before the Patriots picked him up, too, since he is probably the most hateable player in the NFL besides Rodney "Cheap Shot" Harrison. By adding criminals like Meriweather and washed up egotistical crybabies like Moss, the Patriots have dug themselves even further into the position of most classless and hateable team in the NFL. I want nothing more than to see the Patriots go down this season, with wussy Brady and Moss holding each other as they cry away the pain.

2:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Richard said…

So why have none of you Patriot bashers answered these questions

>Let me ask you this, Are you aware that there is an NFL salary cap?

>And that all teams in the NFL must abide by this salary cap rule

>And that it is a rule that has been in effect for many years

>So let me now ask you, are the Patriots cheating in your mind?
>And if they are explain your self

3:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fudge Packers LOL

Jeffrey Dahmer was a Fudge Packer from Wisconsin as well

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ladies and Gentlemen
Boys and Girls of all ages
Welcome to the Green Bay Fudge Packers fan boy blog

Where you have Jealous Green Bay Fudge Packer fan boys just so upset that Randy Moss didn’t want to play for there loser team.

Where there own admitted Drug Addicted Brett Farve would not take a pay cut to help the poor fans of his team the Green Bay Fudge Packers.

When interviewing a few Fudge Packer fans outside in the parking lot where there team plays, they removed there paper bags that they use to cover there heads with shame.

I asked what does the Fudge Packer team really need? We need to be the Patriots, trade our team to New England and the Patriots to us with there coaches we need there coaches, then we would be an unstoppable team.

Come on that’s crazy talk what do you really need?

We just told you…

Those Patriot fans are so lucky

GO PATRIOTS

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is what a cheese wiz heads blog looks like?

what a joke

6:42 PM  
Anonymous The Toad said...

I'm going to ask Richard a question now... Did any one of us ever say that the Patriots don't abide by the salary cap? No. In fact, none of us even mentioned anything about the Patriots being overpaid. Maybe we hate their organization due to the fact that all their players and their coach are unprofessional, selfish, and, in many cases, criminals. Maybe we hate them because they have basically formed a slave labor camp, luring players in for low salaries with the opportunity at a Super Bowl, while treating their players like crap. No wonder why Branch wanted out. Rooting for the Patriots is rooting for a Communist dictatorship.

8:18 AM  
Blogger Kevin Smith said...

Just a few questions for Toad - and I will preface it by saying I am a Patriots fan - and yes, I have this same sort of disdain for the Yankees, but I can't say it's for the exact same reasons. I'm not going to get into some of the mindless insults that are thrown around here by some of the other fans...I think it puts credibility and knowledge into question...

But here goes -

First, I have to admit, I'm not happy with the Moss trade, and not terribly thrilled by the Merriweather pick-up, but he also isn't coming out of school with the rap sheet of either Pacman Jones, or Chris Henry. As for characterizing the team as criminals - who else are you talking about? Brady? Seymour, Bruschi? I'm curious, and would legitimately love to see the articles. Otherwise, we're talking about slander - it's not like we're looking at the Bengals here, or players like Tank Johnson or Sean Taylor (possibly part of the reason I'm so disappointed in the Moss deal).

As for running a slave labor camp - considering last year was the only year under Belichick that the team didn't spend up to or near the cap limit, I fail to understand how they're running as you put it a, "slave labor camp." I'm just looking for clarification on that statement. Also, any slave labor camp where the minimum salary is around $400 thousand...sign me up (also keeping in mind that there are several teams that are traditionally below the salary cap by a considerable amount, including the Eagles, and Green Bay usually has space).

If you're going to use Asante Samuel as a case, familiarize yourself with what he's asking for, which is in the range of $10 million per year, which would be more than what they're paying the QB. Would you want to see your team commit nine percent of its salary cap number to a player that will directly affect about half the number of plays in a game that the QB will? I know I don't - that's a serious sacrifice of quality and in depth and at other positions.

Also, if they're treating the players so poorly, why do so many of the guys that already have rings decide to stay for less money?

I'm not asking you to be a fan (god no), because where would be the fun in sports without our villains (Steinbrenner, Jerry Jones, and Al Davis for me, the Krafts and everyone associated with the Pats for you)? But if you're gonna hate 'em, hate 'em for legit reasons, not ones that you might make up. I hate the Yankees, but I respect what they've done...to an extent, but it's hard to completely respect a team that's dominant because they outspend everybody. I hate the Raiders...mostly because I'm not thrilled with the personality of the owner, team, and fan base - they grate me the wrong way.

As for the selfish charge - since when was it any team's goal to be a team of philanthropists? I want some modicum of selfishness - the desire for personal glory associated with winning at the team level, as long as that's tempered with the understanding that there are 10 other guys out on the field doing everything to make that one guy's job easier (something Samuel isn't doing in his negotiations).

Amusing site, btw

9:41 AM  
Anonymous Pats Fan said...

Amen Kevin!

11:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the Toad

From Richard,

I have been trying to post a reply since my last. But for the unforeseen banning of me posting here, by I assume Hater in Chief or someone else that helps run this blog (Cough) Toad.
I will only post this one time under Anonymous since this is the only way I can say to you, yes I'm here.

It’s very amusing that Toad keeps calling me out but never has answered one of my questions with any honesty. I am starting to see a pattern here where Hater in Chief and Toad are one in the same person.

So if you want to debate with me and call me out at least have the balls to let me speak my mind as you have done. Because it takes a bigger man to use his real name then to use an Anonymous one.

I would love to answer any and all of your questions Toad.


So now the ball is in your corner what you do with it is totally up to you. But real men don’t run from harmless debate they confront it, unless you have already conceded to me?

BTW,
I found this site not by looking for it.
It came to me in my e-mail Google-news Patriots news of the week link, and I figured why not post here and stir up a fever pitch of debate, And it looks as if it did.

Remember where the ball is, do you want to play?
Or are you going to play make believe and pretend I was never here, Professor?

GO PATRIOTS

Richard

1:44 PM  
Blogger Hater in Chief said...

Dear Richard,

There is no moderation on this blog (alas) -- as you can likely tell from the nature of many of the comments. If you are having trouble posting, I suggest you try hitting the button that is labeled "PUBLISH YOUR COMMENT". It is big and orange, much like Bill Belichoke's head. Click on Bill's head and see your name in the big bright lights of this blog!

All the best,
Hater in Chief

p.s. I have no idea who Toad is.

5:21 PM  
Blogger Rick said...

Interesting site. It's at least worth a laugh.

But it occurs to me that you are a Patriot hater primarily because thier organization is smarter than every other organization in the league, and has bred great success.

I think that's called envy.

2:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude

I hate the pats more than all of you clowns but they seem to have a pretty nice dynasty going so it really makes us all look dumb to complain about it. Kind of like those dumb ass red sux fans that used to say "yankees suck" before they broke the curse...now we are 10 1/2 games back and already out of the AL east race in freaking may...

now the red sux fans can chant "2000" instead of us chanting "1918"????:????

Life sucks right now...I wish I was born in BAAAHSTAN

lucky freaking chowdah heads!!!!!!!!

7:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol. so much for the moss pickup being a bust. and comparing him to T.O. is laughable. not from a controversy standpoint, but from an importance to the team one. the eagles paid top dollar for a number one receiver. the pats paid next to nothing for a guy they hope maybe will help. and if he doesn't, oh well. cut him and be out a 4th round pick. not likely to destroy the team like T.O.

1:16 PM  
Anonymous 15-0 said...

Wow... Some solid, very accurate predictions below... ahahahahahahah

10:30 AM  

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