The Calculus of Worry

Ann Arbor, MI (INEPT) - We must admit. We are worried. The playoff picture is shaping up. And though the road is tough for our beloved Hatriots, it is not as fraught with peril as we might like.


This Guy Is Worried, Are You?

This weekend's game against the Mighty Chargers is an excellent example. San Diego has the trappings of a team that will generously give the game away to Belichoke and pals. Why?

• Inexperienced QB on otherwise great team: These games tend to be about QB effectiveness, and young QBs tend to, well, stink. See Disaster in Giftsburgh (I) for example. Good ol' Phil Rivers may be in a gift-giving mood.
• Belichoke knows how to stop the run: We must admit, Belichoke is usually good at taking away the run. Usually. Even in last year's beautiful smashing in Bronco-land, Denver and its mighty rush offense had trouble running the ball. SD reliance on LT makes us worry.
• Any team coached by Schotty: Marty just gives us a bad feeling. Ask John Elway for details.

For these reasons, we cannot sleep. For these reasons, we continue to worry. Our constitution is strong, but is it strong enough? Each step the Hatriots take, our heart beats faster. We are not sure we can handle another off-season full of Belichoke praise and Tom 'Fraidy glory.

Dear Reader: Are our fears justified? Or should we rest easy, and hope for more Proof that God Exists, delivered to us by LT and company?