The Fall of Rome: AFC Championship Prediction

Ann Arbor (INEPT) - Empires rise. And empires fall. Consider the Roman Empire. Long-lasting, dominant (if lucky), innovative in the realm of sanitation, and eventually, bloated and corpulent, ready to be thrown down. Yes, Hatriot fans, Rome fell. As Thomas Cahill describes in his book:

The citizens of Rome, therefore, could not believe it when toward the end of the first decade of the fifth century, they woke to find Alaric, king of the Visigoths, and all his forces parked at their gates. He might as well have been king of the Fuzzy-Wuzzies, or any of the other inconsequential outlanders that civilized people have looked down their noses at throughout history. It was preposterous. They dispatched a pair of envoys to conduct the tiresome negotiation and send him away. The envoys began with empty threats: any attack on Rome was doomed, for it would be met by invincible strength and innumerable ranks of warriors.


An Overconfident Envoy

Alaric was a sharp man, and in his rough fashion, a just one. He also had a sense of humor. "The thicker the grass, the more easily scythed," he replied evenly.

The envoys quickly recognized that their man was no fool. All right, then, what was the price of his departure? Alaric told them: his men would sweep through the city, taking all gold, all silver, and everything of value that could be moved. They would also round up and cart off every barbarian slave.


Alaric at the Gates

But, protested the hysterical envoys, what will that leave us?

Alaric paused. "Your lives."

In that pause, Roman security died and a new world was conceived.


To all citizens of Rome (Hatriot Fans): that day has come. Alaric is at your gates. The fall of Rome is upon us.

Game Prediction: Colts 38, Hatriots 17.