Here Comes T.O.

Irving, Texas (INEPT) - In a controversial move that will be debated for hours to come, none other than Terrell Owens has spiced up this week's Cowboy game with the New England Hatriots through an age-old tactic: writing secret little notes.

Dear Reporters,
Due to the magnitude of this week’s game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 about the other 81. I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday’s game.
Sincerely, T.O.
p.s. Getcha Popcorn Ready.

You may remember T.O. from Superbore XXXIX, where he spent most of the game wiping Donovan McPuke's vomit off of his jersey.


T.O. Loves Popcorn

However, his new notemaker persona is not to be taken lightly. INEPT has uncovered three other notes that T.O. hid in the Cowboy locker room this week. This one was hanging from Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo's locker:

Dear T. Ro,
Don't suck like last week. Five picks!
Sincereley, T.O.
p.s. Getcha Popcorn Ready.

Some Cowboys were confused. "Getcha Popcorn Ready? Why does he keep saying that?," asked a bewildered Romo. "And no way is he going to start calling me T. Ro."


T. Ro. Confused by T.O.


Another note was found Coach Bum... er... Wade Phillips's personal bathroom:

Dear Coach,
Try not to get involved with playcalling this week.
With warm regards, T.O.
p.s. Getcha Popcorn Ready.

Wade Phillips's response leaned towards defensive. "I always have my popcorn ready, T.O. knows that! Damn fool."

A final note was uncovered late this morning in owner Jerry Jones's office:

Dear JJ,
I am assuming you are bringing the popcorn maker to the game. Don't forget!
Sincereley, T.O.

Jerry: Bringing the 'corn


Of course, all mockery will immediately turn into golden praise in the rare chance the Cowboys put an end to this miserable season of non-defeat. Perhaps, INEPT hopes, that in a few days we can all fill our lungs with the glorious air of Hatriot defeat and utter, once and for all: How 'bout them Cowboys!