Note to World: Boston Sportswriters Suck, Too

Boston (INEPT) - Alert! Alert! Boston sportswriters suck, too! In our most recent episode, we have John Tomase explaining how he got it wrong when he claimed that the Patriots videotaped the Rams' walkthrough.


John Tomase: Profile in Idiocy

The basic mistake is explained here:

Two days before the Super Bowl, I finally believed I had it nailed that the Pats had indeed taped that walkthrough. I didn’t know what happened to the tape or if it ever found its way to the coaching staff, but I felt I had the basic story, and even though I didn’t feel great about going the anonymous source route, this one was ready for print.

Turns out I could not have been more wrong. I regret it, and that’s something I’m going to have to live with for the rest of my life.

What a moron. Some anonymous sources say a thing or two and this guy is off and running. The real story: for a moment Tomase aspired to be a "writer" and not what he is (or rather, should be), which is a "homer". No one wants their local sportswriter to do stuff like this, period. Tomase forgot the cardinal rule of sportswriting: you are writing to fans of the team! Idiot.

We also get to learn that Tomase is basically an incompetent journalist:

I should not have written the story without seeing the tape or getting multiple, firsthand confirmations from members of the organization.

Rephrase: I am a bad reporter, and don't know how to report (like most sports reporters). From now on, I will try to actually implement the lessons I learned in Journalism 101 class at Northeastern.

An interesting comment about Roger Goodell, chief Moron of the NFL, slips into the article:

I attended Roger Goodell’s state of the league address and asked him afterward if he had ever investigated allegations that the Patriots had filmed the Rams’ walkthrough. He said it was the first he’d heard of it, though a day later he’d release a statement saying the league investigated the rumor months ago and believed it to be unfounded.

Wow! A little bombshell in the middle of this pandering apology. One day, Goodell has never heard of the allegations. The next day, he claims he investigated the rumor months ago and didn't find anything. What can we conclude from this? Thus, either Goodell is quite forgetful, or has very little idea of what is actually going on. Kind of worrisome, no?


More Proof: Goodell is Clueless


Tomase then tries to outline a plan to win back the favor of Patriot fans:

What happens from here? I intend to continue covering the Patriots to the best of my abilities, and that means pursuing every storyline, good or bad. I have relationships to mend within the organization and with my readers. The process of regaining your trust will not be an easy one.

Rephrase: I will now become the homer reporter you always wanted, instead of a pretend journalist with aspirations of Woodward and Bernstein. I will never watch All the President's Men again. If there is a story that sounds bad, I will not write it or even think about it. You will see a lot of puff pieces from me.


Never again, Tomase.

And the final sad appeal:

On Feb. 2, I let you all down. Today I hope to begin the long road back.

What he is really saying: please don't make the paper fire me. Please!


A man begging for his job. However, this man weighs much less than Tomase (and most sportswriters)

So what have we learned? The major points:

• Tomase is an idiot. If I lived in New England, and valued my life, and was a sportswriter, and had some semblance of a brain in my head, I would never write an article. Thus, Tomase either is planning on moving, has a death wish, or lacks in some categories upstairs.
• Sportswriters suck. Coming as no surprise, sportswriters are even worse journalists than most writers. The mistake Tomase made was to aspire to greatness by writing a "hard hitting" story. He should know better. You write about sports for a living, Tomase! Keep it simple, happy, and (usually) true.
• Goodell is clueless. Again, no surprise. Roger Goodell doesn't know what is going on, and doesn't want to know. He doesn't want to get to the bottom of things, and unless the Senate does, we will never know how much or often the Patriots cheated.
• Tomase has provided vindication for New England fans. The real sad part of this story is that it gives Patriot fans something to point and say "Hey! We told you so. The media is out to get us, and is likely wrong. And look at what a bunch of clowns they are!" All of which is too bad, because it obscures the real fact that New England has been cheating for years and it obviously has given them a tremendous advantage in that time.