Thursday, August 28, 2008


Dedicated reader Kevin writes:
He started out as an intern for the New England Patriots, then Will McDonough made a very important friend. Since then got himself a much, much sweeter job, handling Tom Brady’s private affairs… a job so secretive that not even his best friends have any idea what he does. Here is Boston magazine’s look at the man who rode the Super Bowl QB’s coattails to greater fame.

Click here for the article. It is a bizarre read. For those of you too lazy to click (likely, most of you), here are some of the interesting snippets:
For those who don't remember, Brady was not all that long ago a floppy-haired underdog who favored blazers with elbow patches. Even after his early on-field success, he retained a dorky aw-shucks style. He hated the podium and was unprepared for celebrity. Then, before our eyes, he became the metro-sexual who now flits about Europe, paparazzi in his wake. These days Brady seems quite comfortable in his underwear, accessorized perhaps with a sweaty bottle of Smartwater and some Stetson cologne. Compared with Peyton Manning, who hams it up for the NFL's yeasty audience and wouldn't be caught dead in a Movado watch, Brady is a fey extraterrestrial. He has leveraged his appeal in a restrained fashion that transcends his sport. The approach might even be called elegant. But the process has not been intuitive. Brady has needed help. That's where McDonough comes in.

So basically, Tom needed some dude to come in and help him dress. Kind of reminds me of the whole Al Gore/Naomi Wolf thing. Let's hear what our Republican pals think of Tommy! It continues:
At the same time, just like Eric, McDonough has his detractors, those who see him as a lucky boob. A coattailer. And they aren't afraid to voice their opinions, at least anonymously. On one blog, McDonough is called an "ass clown," a "jock sniffer," a "douche," and a "hog sucker." Other people interviewed for this story expressed a disbelief bordering on outrage at his success. Invariably, though, the critics didn't actually know him. They'd merely crossed his path at a party somewhere.

This is what reporting has come to: on "one blog", he was called an "ass clown." Wow! On a blog! It must be true! Being the crack reporters that we are here at INEPT, we decided to track these references down.

McDonough and Bruschi

Turns out the reporter meant that phrases such as "ass clown" and "jock sniffer" were actually found in the reader comments at barstool sports:
I hate to say this as an alum, but McDonough went to BC, graduated in '02. He has worked at the Pats since then and somehow became best pals with Brady. Honestly, I don't totally like Brady because he is friends with this ass clown. McDonough has been a jock sniffer for years, it finally paid off for him. Good for him, I guess.
— George Brett, Apr 25 2008, 1:27 pm
No, not that George Brett. Further down, we get this quote:
For anyone who is doubting how much of a douche will is let me assure you...he is a douche. Having not only graduated from BC w/this dbag i lived on his floor freshman year(cheverus 2nd for any doubters)....this kid sniffed more jock than george jung did coke. That's a fact. He is a douche, and will always be a douche....i now hate tom brady because he associates with this dbag.
— thekid, Apr 25 2008, 2:37 pm
And it goes on. So this is what we get from Boston Magazine: some writer looks up a blog post on Will McDonough, and then quotes the 12-year olds that comment there. Is that what print media has come to? Research that can be done in five minutes, taking quotes from 12-year old basement dwellars?

At INEPT, we go beyond print media. Way beyond. Instead of just cherry-picking the words from a few comments at barstool sports, we instead make up a comprehensive wordle of the reader response:

Wordle rules: Click on the image if it is too fuzzy

From this diagram, we get a much better sense of what people think of "Holley". Douche does stand out, you have to admit.

There's a lot more in the article. It is all pretty strange. Read the rest yourself, or better yet, don't. At least we learned one thing from the experience: use wordle.

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Blogger Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

He is still banging Gisele on a regular basis. Until that ends, its hard to shit on Brady's sense of style.

12:54 PM  
Anonymous GiantsfaninNE said...

I still (and will always) say that he is banging Gisele's younger brother. This guy is as gay as they come. Someday it will all come out. Maybe Will is a douchebag, but Brady is a bigger one.

5:03 PM  
Anonymous patty "I know where you live in Bend, Drew, put down the coffee and grab those pads" pat said...

I guess you're all out dancing in the streets now. Hope you enjoy TB's torn ACL.

7:34 PM  
Anonymous GiantsfaninNE said...

I wouldn't call it dancing in the streets, but I would be lying if I said I gave a damn. Plenty of players go down with injuries (take Osi for instance) and the game of football doesn't stop. Matt Cassel sucks and everybody knows it. They barely beat the worst team in the league. However, if their coach is such a "genius" (without cameras) then I guess he will have to prove it.

2:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The hate won't be the same!

And I am a fan that loves your site... but the hate... the beautiful hate that this site produces will be lessened by this Brady injury... making fun of Cassel is like kicking a puppy.

1:21 PM  
Anonymous GiantsfaninNE said...

LOL kicking a puppy. Very good analogy.

4:22 PM  
Anonymous The Real Tom Brady said...


Once again - your hate is weak.

So weak in fact, that my knee caved in. Don't you get it?! To me, your hate is like Earth's yellow sun to Superman, or Gamma radiation to the Hulk. without it, I'm just a Demi-God, but with it, I am so. much. more.

So I've decided to give the rest of the NFL the year off from getting it's ass so viciously kicked by me. I'm gonna give the Junior Varsity kid a try. And when the Team still makes the playoffs, they're gonna franchise him and trade him for picks so when I come back we'll have a batch of early picks to show for it.

In the meantime, Giselle and her smokin' hot girfriends will be nursing me back to full health.

See you in 2009, Bitches!

Tom B.

11:43 AM  
Blogger Dave H said...

Whew, after so long without a post I feared the HIC had chosen to retire at the top of his game.

5:08 PM  
Anonymous GiantsfaninNE said...

I have no fear that Matt Cassell will do anything but suck. The Gaytriots will still make the playoffs, but get their asses handed to them in a Wild Card game. Oh, and I can't wait to see that!

4:09 AM  
Anonymous patriotsSuck said...

the only reason the pats will make the playoffs is because they essentially will get a free ride to the playoffs considering they play in the weak afc east. I mean if any decent team had to play against the hapless jets and pathetic dolphins of course you could win that division with your hand tied behind your back.

9:57 AM  
Anonymous JetsSuck said...

Matt Cassell (hadn't started a game since high school) >>> Brett Favre


And Giantsfan, you're a real homophobic douchebag, aren't you? Cunt.

9:53 AM  
Anonymous GiantsfaninNE said...

Awwww Jetsuck, you're such a sweet talker. Apparently you're 12 yrs old also. I will take your comment under advisement and do some soul searching.....

.... I'm done. I've come to the conclusion that you are one of those idiotic Gaytriots fans that "drank the Bellichick koolaid".

5:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You did it! this site is terrific! I'm probably not the best person to comment here because I am a Patriots fan, but I will try and subscribe to the blog (if allowed)because it's hilarious. Hilarious because the Pats apologists, and how easy it is for the haters to get under their skin; eventually it just ends in name calling and swearing, but funny none the less. Think I might be the only Pats fan who is happy the patriots cheated (and hope they still are in some capacity) - I think Brady getting injured is (bad/good) karma as well. It's great to see it unfold. Let's all just hope they keep succeding so this wonderful blog continues for haters and lovers alike!

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the patriots get to the playoffs its because they had the easiest schedule in the league.

if they win out there should be an asteriks next to there name with the denotation "easiest schedule in league history."

If they win the superbowl? Means Belicheat has found a new way to cheat.

The reason why they have the easiest schedule in the league: Bob Kraft and Roger Goodell are friends, and Goodell feels bad for penalizing his good buddy so "harshly."

As long as Goodell is the Commisioner of the NFL the Patriots will get all the breaks. Even before Goodell, Tagliabu, the referees, they all love the gaytriots. The Tuck Rule? need I say more?

3:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So Captain Dumpoff gets hurt and lo and behold, the Patriots trot out a second version, Capt. Dumpoff v2.0, who manages to win games in essentially the same way the v1.0 did for many years. Hmm... Maybe what coach B is really good at is finding new ways to cheat and find quarterbacks who are really not very talented but are good at absorbing all the ill-gotten films of defensive signals.

I guess coach B really is savvy then, and not just a two-bit crook.

7:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since the Pats have been kept under 20 points for three games in a row maybe if they played a team that could put more than 20 on the board we'd see them lose a game this season.

When you have a schedule as easy as theirs ... it's actually quite easy to win games, no matter who is quarterbacking.

Canuck Patriot Hater

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard that they also pump in crowd noise over the loudspeakers too. Also Belicheck has a spy on every team that provide the Patriots with there complete playbook.

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Well, guess what? said...

I agree, making fun of Cassel is like kicking a puppy.
I was going to say that maybe the Dolphins should draft him, but they obviously don't need him after today's game.
PatsSuck, I'd think twice before calling the Dolphins pathetic. I'm definitely not a Dolphins fan, but they just beat the Patriots 38-13.
Normally I'd be doubled over laughing, but the Colts lost as well, so I'm not in the mood.
No 19-0 for the Patriots. Eat it.

6:31 PM  
Anonymous GiantsfaninNE said...

I am certainly doubled-over laughing! Thank you, Dolphins. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For once, Joey Porter's big mouth came through with his prediction!

5:28 AM  

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