Monday, October 29, 2007

I'm Back!

As a once promising musician once said, “In my dying days I may forget the people that I loved, but I will forever remember the people that I have hated.” This quote rings so true when it comes to my passionate hatred toward the New England Patriots and though I had taken a much needed hiatus from this glorious site I am here to announce that I am back and ready to start a new chapter of hate towards Bill, Bob, Brady, Bruschi and the rest of the Bastards associated with the New England Patriots.

-Spawn of Satan-

In these trying times for Hatriots I want to extend a ‘hand of hope’ that will help all of us weather the current storm and concentrate on our main goal of derailing the new ‘evil empire’. Please remember fellow Hatriots that the season is long and eight games mean nothing and anything less than a Super Bowl victory will be an enormous disappointment to the Pats and would forever taint their legacy. So keep up the good fight and remember that New England is forever scared by the ‘cheating’ label and anything they accomplished in the past or furthermore should be marked by an asterisk, because as we all know “once a cheater- always a cheater.”


Anonymous Tom Brady said...

That's ok haters. 19-0 is the same as 19-0* to me.
Kiss my asterisk.

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm off to be felated by supermodels.

-Tom B

11:19 AM  
Anonymous ...Uh, no said...

I love how it has already been identified that we didn't cheat, and yet people still persist in their hallucination that we did.

Just shows how detached from reality their hate is bringing them.

12:41 PM  
Anonymous FarScapeR said...

This has to be the best anti-fan site around. At least it brings equal amounts of funny with the hate. And I'm sure I'd hate the pats too if I was a Jets fan (and if you are, my deepest condolences). Glad to know you're back.

2:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It wasn't identified that there was no cheating. On the contrary, the Patriots took their punishment and paid the fines, which says they are guilty. Even though they aren't cheating any more, the Redskins headphones STILL went out yesterday during one of their offensive drives. It's funny how this doesn't happen in any other facility but that drunken Kraft's stadium. hmmmm... ironic. Oh, and if Tom Brady is getting felated by supermodels, its male ones!

3:47 PM  
Anonymous ...Dude, that was so stupid said...

It wasn't identified that they were male models.

Just taking your words, buddy.

And this line right here makes you look really idiotic:

"Even though they aren't cheating any more, the Redskins headphones STILL went out yesterday during one of their offensive drives. It's funny how this doesn't happen in any other facility but that drunken Kraft's stadium."

Alrighty then, so the Pats can control electrical wave input and output now....hmm, interesting....and Kraft drinking? You're funny. Really.

Another thing, if the Pats pay a fine, I personally think it was to attempt to shut you guys up. But no. You guys still whine like a bunch of spoiled brats who think their dolls are smaller than the next-door neighbor's. And news flash: EVERY team in the NFL has, at least once, videotaped the other coach's signals. It just so happens that Eric Mangini (girlish last name hahahaha) snitched on us cause he was all pissed off that Belichick didn't give him a hearty handshake, hug, and cookie after the game.

Oh, one more thing: the. tape. was. erased. during. the. first. half.

Read it, and try to wrap your pea-sized brains around it.

4:20 PM  
Anonymous Tom Brady said...

Hey – T.B. here. Sorry Hater-in-chief, but I’ll need to turn down the interview you requested this week after the game.

I’m gonna be busy impregnating Peyton Manning’s wife. Normally I’d say no to this type of thing, but I’ve decided to sire Archie and Victoria’s future grandson (I only make boy babies) for a few reasons.

1. Peyton’s wife is actually kinda cute. Not the “Supermodel Hot” I’m accustomed to bedding down with, mind you – but I understand she’s got all her own teeth, which is rare in Indianapolis.
2. I actually like to work up a sweat at a game, and I don’t think this weeks opponent will afford me that opportunity. Running up the score 63-0 is getting too damn easy, man.
3. Think of the poor woman. If Peyton were, y’know, inclined to actually sleep with a girl, the massive cranium the little mutant would inherit genetically from him would kill the mother as the gigantic forehead was pushed through the birth canal.

Anyway – I tried to respond to your request by e-mail, but it kept getting bounced back – something about your inbox being filled by too much gay porn? Hey – If that’s your bag, who am I to judge dude – and it should make you feel good to know you’ve got something in common with Peyton! My inbox is typically filled by hot supermodels sending me naked photos of themselves – sooooo annoying!

I gotta run to practice now – keep the hatred coming our way-
Tom Brady

7:14 AM  
Anonymous LOL said...



1:01 PM  
Anonymous New England Asterisks said...

Intelligent are those who type nonsensical letters in capslock!

And, uh, Tom, judging by some of those cowboy themed pictures of you on Google search, you're not really all that interested in Peyton's wife. That, and pretty much any picture we've ever seen of you says about the same.

I can already hear you, Tom. "Well then, how did I father a bastard child, hmm? How bout that?" That proves nothing, Tom. Another famous Tom (Cruise), has a kid, too.

Fellow Haters, there's also another race going on out there, besides the race for the Lombardi Asterisk in January! Seems Tony Romo is hot on Tom's trail to claim the title of biggest manslut in football! Jessica Simpson, Carrie Underwood, some C-list actress that Tom already gave the clap to, and the latest: Britney Spears! That might be lower than when Tom was out with Lindsay Lohan last year. Does the AFC excel at sluttiness as well as talent versus the NFC? Only time will tell. Personally, I have faith that Tom will prevail as king whore. Unless Matt Leinart shacks up with Paris Hilton again sometime soon.

Go Asterisks!

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Tom Brady said...

Howdy Haters- Tommy here.

Did you actually google me to oogle me? and you're questioning my heterosexuality? riiiiiight.

And That kid isn't really Tom Cruise's either - It's L. Ron Hubbards - everyone knows that. Just wait till Suri develops super powers.

Well - I'm off to roll around naked with Giselle in a Big pile of money! You enjoy pleasuring yourself to those images of me you googled! You are one kinky bastard!

Later Haters - kiss my asterisk!
Tom Brady

2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Lord! Patriots' fans are such idiots! These few that left messages here are perfect examples. I live in New England and have to listen to these morons day in and day out. Pats fans would've stuck by Tom Brady if he was in the dog-fighting scandal. The Boston media is "owned" by that DRUNKEN Bob Kraft and the fans are nothing but a bunch of lemmings that follow whatever the media tells them.

4:58 AM  
Anonymous New England Asterisks said...

I suppose I should've clarified that one. No, Tom, don't flatter yourself. I was googling you (no double entendre intended), because I needed some reference pictures for a freelance illustration project I was working on for a client. If my client was gay, that's his bag, I guess. Don't worry, Tom. I made your browridge even more prominent, and had Bill Belicheat shoving a video camera up your rearend. Needless to say, my client liked it very much. And swim around in money with all the supermodels you'd like, Tom. The more parading around you do with models (girl ones), the more it shows how insecure with your manhood you really are. I'm sure the Pope (who you met, ironically enough) would be very unhappy with you straying from your Good Catholic Boy roots. Or maybe not, with the state of the clergy lately.

May the asterisks be with you, Tom!

6:35 AM  
Anonymous Brady Baby #455 said...

Anonymous raises a good and interesting point. It's odd how football fans turn a blind eye to how obnoxious/slutty/underhanded their team is. The most blinding example, of course, is Brady and his very public breakup with whats her face after she told him she was pregnant. Classy! Really shatters everyone's Golden Boy image of him, right? Yes, but not if you live on the East Coast. His BabyDaddy title doesn't even exist if you live in that area. I'm surprised they haven't deified him yet. Example two would be Belicheat, well, cheating. Something's still fishy about that. We have Belicheat's word, which in itself is a joke, that all the cheatin' evidence was destroyed. But the Patsies are continuously winning games by obscene margins. If you ask me, all the evidence wasn't destroyed. How can a team that lost to the Dolphins one year be godlike the next? Don't tell me 'Randy Moss', either. One guy can't do all that.

Anyway, back to the point. Fans are stupid when it comes to their little heroes. I still see people wearing Vick jerseys, and people still worship Brett Favre even though he was a drug addict. These superfans have to live vicariously through somebody, even if it means denial of the most pathetic kind. It's like a virtual version of dating someone who's a jerk: you pick out their few good traits and tell yourself repeatedly that those make up for the fact that they take all your money, cheat on you, kick your dog, etc.

Anonymous, I feel sorry for you. I couldn't stand that crap if I lived in that area. I used to live in WI at the height of the bandwagon jumping there, so I kind of know where you're coming from. You've probably been run over by a few bandwagons over there. Most of them being driven by the fair weather fans who post on here.

6:51 AM  
Anonymous West Coast Hater said...

There's probably a bandwagon traffic jam in the East, what with all the Boston Red Sox "fans" joining in now.

I cast my vote for Tom Brady over Tony Romo. Just because of the fact that Tom was raised a Catholic and met the Pope (who's dead now, probably because Tom touched him with his STD ridden hands). The hilarious irony factor is pretty high. Yup, my vote's definitely with Tom. Kick it up a notch, Tony. You're way behind, just like a few weeks ago.

7:02 AM  
Anonymous Scott said...

Call me a lemming if you like, but I'm pretty sure Brady and Bridget's break up was mutual.
In any event, she doen't seem to have any bad feelings towards Brady, and to that end actually wanted him there at the Birth, going so far as to include his first and middle names in the Baby's name - yeah - she sounds pretty angry at him. But you decide for Bridget just how she should feel.

I have no delusions about Brady or Belichick. Brady can come off as a total meathead sometimes, and Belichick is an asshole. I'm still a fan of the team, and have been since before they were any good. If that makes me an idiot in your book, so be it.

As far as the cheating - I'd be willing to bet dollars to dounuts that when the Pats handed over their materials to the NFL, there was an extra file on the crap that other teams have pulled against them, and have for years. The commish couldn't let all that get out, and the owners didn't want to truth to come out, so they were destroyed. The Pat's were made an example of, and Belichick is pissed about it - so he's making a spectacle of it this year.

The steelers in 2005 went for "one for the thumb" - this year the pat's are going for a ring for their middle finger - and the rest of the league can kiis their ass, becaus ethey'll still end up with a top ten pick from the 49ers.

7:33 AM  
Anonymous Josh Howard said...

I love these Pats fans that think the Patriots were cleared of all cheating charges. That is hilarious! Do you really believe that the NFL would have punished a team and/or player if they had done nothing wrong? I know you New Englanders are a little slow, but to convince yourself that the Pats weren't cheating is like convincing yourself that the Charlie Weis looks good in his 'birthday suit'. Looks like it’s time to staple the 'ol stomach again...

My theory (and I am almost always correct) is that the NFL uncovered more damming material from the Pats during the investigations, but took the "hush-hush" approach, because if they unveiled their findings it would have tainted the league dating back to the turn of the millennium. Sorry Pats-Fans the cheating label is embedded in your legacy forever- deal with it :)

10:23 AM  
Anonymous You asshole said...

"The most blinding example, of course, is Brady and his very public breakup with whats her face after she told him she was pregnant. Classy! Really shatters everyone's Golden Boy image of him, right?"

Bridget Moynahan broke up with him first, you stupid slug. Shove that up your ass.

The Pats cheated- same as any other team in tne NFL. The only reason we're winning by a huge margin, is because they're pissed off at jackoffs like you guys who won't. let. it. go.

Belichick's giving the NFL the good old flip-off they needed.

That's what happens when you try to jump on a stupid wagon and let your jealousy consume you to the point of blaming a SICK-NASTY team for something everyone else did.

Suck it.

2:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, "you asshole", you are a very eloquent speaker, and intelligent as well. Typical Patriots fan!

6:07 AM  
Anonymous You asshole said...

Why, thank you. Though I think you sounded rather dumb, actually.

2:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's really sad. Imagine if the CLOLts lost this week. It would be so sad.

4:35 PM  
Anonymous Classy Pats Fan...Just Kidding said...

Oooo! This is the most pissed off I've seen Patsy fans in a while! I love it. They're so damned FRUSTRATED that no one takes their team seriously any more, even though the Patsies are winning by 30 plus points a game!

And quit with the 'sick nasty' crap, like it's a positive thing. The only thing it does is show that you're obviously in high school and don't even remember when the Patriots sucked. Bandwagoning moron. And, if you're not in high school, try talking like a grown-up. The only sick nasty thing about the Patriots is their fans (as in sick like backed up sewage and nasty, as in Belicheat's hoodie), and whatever fungi Tom Brady's growing in between his legs nowadays. Oh yeah, and their drunken owner's breath after every Pats home game.

Suck on that, if you will. But don't enjoy it too much, junior. Mom'll hear from the other room.

5:30 PM  
Anonymous You asshole said...

"They're so damned FRUSTRATED that no one takes their team seriously any more, even though the Patsies are winning by 30 plus points a game!"

Oooooh, we're actually not!!!!
I think it's YOU GUYS who are frustrated....that the Patriots are winning every single game so far with at least 30 points.

"And quit with the 'sick nasty' crap, like it's a positive thing. The only thing it does is show that you're obviously in high school and don't even remember when the Patriots sucked. Bandwagoning moron."

Not that you could open that very old, unused mind of yours and accept that "sick-nasty" is a Boston term, but I just thought I'd let you know that high schoolers can come up with better logic, grammar, and arguments than you- hey, maybe you're actually in the fifth grade....oh wait, never mind, they can't be as stupid either....

Bandwagoning? I've been a fan since before the Drew Bledsoe days. I think you're the moron here, for making an dumb-ASSumption like that.

Fungi? Hoodie? Drunken owner's breath? Oh that's rich. Really good arguments there. Can't believe an obvious freshman/little kid like you could come up with stuff like that. Good job, buddy!

Don't worry, you'll get over yourself soon enough. When the Pats totally annihilate the C-LOL-ts today. :) Good bye, have fun sucking!

9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mhen that last game was one sided teh colts did not have marvin harrison in the line up thats why they lost to the evil cheating empire the new england fkriots mhen i hate new england i hope they get eliminated in the playoff so that cheater of a couch they have get it in the azz. i think they memories the colts call thats why they know how to defend the colts i hate the there just fkrng cheater. and did you guys see couch cheaerchek after the game he didnt even shake couch dungy hands mhen whazz up with that he won by cheating at least he could have shake the other couch hand mhen cheaterchek is an a hole mhen. i hope they lost and one last thing they should have fired that cheaterchek for what he did or at least take all his superbowl trophy because they won those by cheating fkrng cheater.

5:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the patroits win because they work their hardest. Sorry you hate them its cause you aint them. So get over yourselfs and stop making up down songs abot the patriots.

3:19 PM  
Anonymous Pat hater hater said...

What the???? This is the lamest site I have ever seen..what a big baby crying because New England has an awesome football team and you don' the pacifier back in your mouth and stop crying..I loved New England when they stunk and I love them when they are Hot...BEST FOOTBALL TEAM PERIOD!!! BEST COACH PERIOD!!!We would of beat the Colts last year to if the refs didnt make LAME calls. It's the Pats time so get over it..We will go down as the GREATEST team of all may as well start crying because this is the year!! GO PATS!! And Indy fans really showed their true character when they bood a little girl because of being a Pats lame...I loved seeing the Peyton pout..Pats and Browns baby!! The Best!!

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Pat Hater Hater said...

As far as the cheating thing, it sucks, But it had no effect on any of the games and all your teams did and do the same thing, so, pull the log out of your own eye before you take the spec out of someone elses. Mangini did it last year and so did every other team, they always look at signals, why do you think they cover their mouths with the clip board when they are talking..every team tries to figure out signals...give me a break, we just got caught ..and even after all of that crap we have still kicked a**...jealous freaks, I wonder how many commercials Brady will make...oh.. not many... hmmmm.. Will Manning take a huge pay cut so more good players can come to the Colts?? Ummmm no....Wow....oh yeah the Colts are classier...Manning seems to be tatooed on everyones a** WHY?? He seems to be the most arrogant player I have ever seen, always blaming his recievers instead of himself for bad throws, I can tell by the lame looks he gives them.......Love it...

8:59 AM  

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