Wednesday, February 28, 2007

New Staff Member: Josh Howard

Ann Arbor (INEPT) - We are pleased to announce Josh Howard has joined the Hatriot staff(*)! As winner of the prestigious Hatriot of the Year(**) award for the most furious hate expressed towards our beloved team in New England, he has been asked to join the staff as a full-time member(***).

No, It's Probably Not This Josh Howard

Some highlights from this Hater's fine posts:

  • From Nightmare in San Diego: Once again, I am glad to hear the outpouring of Patriot hate and I think the best explanation of frustrations was made by the guy that said he wanted to saw his car in half after Marlon McCree’s ‘interception fumble’. No kidding- I actually sprained my left arm on that play from celebrating and then falling to my living room floor in agony.

  • From Back By Popular Demand: I will hate the Patriots until the day I die or as long as 'fakor' Robert Kraft is running the organization. Tom Brady is a drone that would be an afterthought if he played in Arizona. Rodney Harrison is the most overrated safety that ever lived and I hope that his career ends when he is doing one of his 'late' head first dives on top of a defenseless ball carrier.

  • From Top Five Reasons Hatriots Will Lose: Even if New England is victorious on Sunday, it will mean nothing. You will always be known as the franchise that was very good, but not great. I know that this notion frustrates you to no end, but you better learn to deal with it, because it will never change. A loss, on the other hand, would be detrimental to your self-labeled legacy and will burn at your greedy and tainted souls.

You can always find more of Mr. Howard's rants (or anything else) by using the vaunted Hatriot Search Engine (conveniently available on the right-side of this blog).

Congratulations, Mr. Howard!

- The INEPT Staff

(*) Mr. Howard still has to send email to in order to officially be added to the staff.

(**) There is no cash compensation for this award. Just the prestige, baby. Pure prestige.

(***) 'Full-time member' means once in a rare while, you post something, and that hopefully it is funny.


Anonymous Josh Howard said...

First off, I would like to thanks the current INEPT staff on behalf of everyone that has an abomination for the Patriots. They have given all Hatriots an extremely well-run forum to express our deep hatred for the most unbearable organization in profession sports history. It will be an honor to join such an esteem and elite staff. I look forward to adding a new dimension to an already proficient group of guys and will stop at nothing to help put the New England Patriots back into their rightful place…the bottom of the standings.

A few thanks:

Tom Brady: My hate for you is never ending. The fact that you are enormously overrated and the most insincere person in the world make you so easy to hate. People always said that you were a giving person and the last two years you have more than lived up to the reputation. First, you gave Champ Bailey, Marlon McCree (we all know what happened) and Marlin Jackson playoff clinching interceptions and now you have given poor Bridget Moynahan your polluted sperm. Keep up the good work.

Tedy Bruschi: A special thanks goes you, Tedy. When you played with your children on the field before Super Bowl 39, I wanted to throw up in my mouth and swallow. Then you had a stroke. However, you recovered quickly and are now the slowest linebacker in the league. Thanks for coming back so quickly. The Pats defense was getting younger and faster until you decided to come back and show how immobile and sluggish you can make a defense.

Bill Belichick: What can I say? You are the reason I am here today. I hold you in the same regard as Jeffrey Dahmer, Adolf Hitler and The Unabomber. All of you had successful runs, but have offered nothing positive to humanity. You make it way too easy to hate.

And Finally, Bob Kraft: I hate you like a big fat turd. You are just a nuisance that has no value or worth on this earth. Your raspy voice and humongous belly make you even more repulsive. You are the Satan and the above mentioned are your spawn. Keep producing them and we will continue to produce the hate.

1:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

howard suck my dick you homo

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Josh Howard said...

Mr. Anonymous:

You call me a homo, yet you want me to perform oral sex on you?? Thanks, but no thanks :) However, I am sure that there are plenty of fellow Patriot fans that would love to take you up on your proposal. Happy hunting.

10:27 AM  
Anonymous Rick said...

i'm not even a pats fan, in fact i hate the pats, but i really really dont like you howard.what you do is pathetic.

7:09 AM  
Anonymous Josh Howard said...

Rick...Thank You :)

12:14 PM  

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